Psalm 124:8 Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
1 Peter 5:6-7 6Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,7casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 John 3:20 …for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.
Jeremiah 32:17 Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.
I needed a break tonight from all the thinking I did today so I took Nyx to the park for another walk. I stopped on the way home to take pictures of the sky again. I guess if I had a window in my office I’d accomplish zero during the workday. (But I still wish I had one.)
Luke 10:38-42 38Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.40But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”41But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
I needed to read this.
Andi, Andi…you are anxious and troubled about many things, but your sister, Mary…she has it right.
How often are we so caught up with our job, our obligations, our worries, our running here and there…that we forget or simply choose to bypass the very fabric of life? The very reasons of why we are here?
Do we cut short our time with our children, our parents, or our friends to fulfill less meaningful obligations? Do we cut God out of our life because it’s too time consuming to read the Bible or pray? Do we have a distorted view on what is of greater importance? We need to reflect upon this and be truthful with what we discover about ourselves.
It’s not always easy to admit hey, I’ve been wrong. It’s quite humbling. I know this firsthand. But humbling is needed for growth. And we should desire to grow.
I have been a Martha for a good part of my life. It’s time to let go of worries and burdens to make room for all those things of greater importance, such as God…first and foremost. But one thing is necessary…vs 42.
Have a good start to your new week. Be grateful for humility even when it’s uncomfortable. ♥️
I had an early morning appointment yesterday which is pretty typical for my Saturdays. I always take Nyx with me. I’m away from her so much during the week that I take her wherever/ whenever I can on the weekend.
It was such a nice morning that I decided we would walk at the sports park before going home. We pulled into the same parking spot where I would always park during all my years of running. It’s my spot. I’m kinda sentimental like that.
I parked next to a white pickup. A man was posting a reserved sign on the pavilion and then he headed toward the building that houses the restrooms. I got Nyx ready to go and we headed to the pathway where I always start my walk/run. We walked around the building and there was that man. He immediately began to speak to me. “Hi, I’m Rodney.” I introduced myself. He asked about my dog so I told him a little bit about her. We started another short conversation about his work with the parks department.
As we talked he kept his distance back away from me. Not sure what he was most concerned with…Covid or Nyx. He asked if I was a traveler. “You look like a traveler.” I said I do like to travel and that often I will get in my car and just drive. I told him about the Falls trip last Sunday and he said that was one of his most favorite places to go because of the peace found there.
I started to speak again when he sort of interrupted me, and changed the direction of the conversation.
He said, “There is something very special about you. I can see it. You are a good person.”
In my mind I was saying what? and huh? as he just kept right on talking…
His words were unexpected and I tried to take in all that he was saying but I just cannot remember it all. He continued lifting me up as I stood there, bewildered, and wiping my leaky right eye.
At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel. ~Maya Angelou
This was one of those moments.
I tried to hold back the tears. He had reached the painful place in my heart. Maybe he noticed as he changed the topic quickly again to other random things. We talked for awhile longer and then he left. I turned to head toward the path thinking about what had just happened.
Some things I decided, can’t be explained. That is…unless we look a little deeper. I never met that man before. He didn’t know me. But within two minutes he started saying very nice, uplifting things about me. Timing was perfect because I have been feeling somewhat displaced. He truly lifted my spirits.
I do believe angels are among us. The Bible talks about us entertaining strangers who are angels (Hebrews 13:1-2). And I also believe that God can and will use others to help us along our path in life. Maybe you have been touched by an angel. I think it may happen more often then we think. We might need to pay closer attention. For me, my angel was easy to notice this time. He was dressed in an orange parks department shirt and his name was Rodney.
Have a blessed Sunday. Be grateful for all things and be mindful of the angels who walk among us. ♥️
Photos: I never get tired of posting pictures of the Falls. These were taken about 13 years ago.
Our conversation was sparked over the heaviness of today’s issues in our world.
I’ve been feeling very weak lately too. But that’s the great thing about you seeking God out again. He is allowing you to go through this because He knows you’re going to benefit from it. He’s answering your prayers right now. You just have to stay strong like He’s wanting you to and very soon you’re going to see benefits from it.
Emotions go up and down every day. You have to let yourself know “hey, it’s ok to be stressed, it’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to be down.” Emotions are a wonderful thing to feel because it’s your way of working through situations and thoughts. Don’t be confused why your emotions are scattered and don’t fight them. Let them flow through you in a healthy way, yes…even anger. When you start telling yourself this and allowing yourself to let the emotions happen, they will pass so much quicker and you’ll have more inner peace, even during your worst times.
I understand your concerns. I have the same concerns. But you’re better off keeping yourself informed, voting strategically, and then leaving it in God’s hands. Nothing can happen in this world unless God allows it too and if He allows it to happen, we must rejoice that we have an opportunity to show God our faith and dedication to Him, and He WILL reward us for that.
Even the devil himself had to ask God for permission to even attempt to make Job turn away from God. The devil had to ASK for permission! If the lord of ALL EVIL had to ASK our God to mess with one single human than nothing in this world is ever going to happen without God being in 100% control.
I think you’re very well informed on the situation of our country and the world. But not only is God in full control but there are insanely powerful and intelligent people at work for the protection of our nation whom I believe God put in place to keep us from going under.
My suggestion is this:
God has not put you in a place of power to make massive change in our country politically. He wants you to not be ignorant of what’s going on but He wants you to focus on the tasks He’s specifically given to you. Stay informed but limit your political intake, use this new found free-time to focus on you and your family. That’s where you can make the biggest difference in the world and yes, this matters a lot.
You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Only Jesus can do that.
All of the italicized words above are from my youngest son, Zeke…to me.
Zeke’s thoughts are beautifully written. He painted a brilliant canvas for me. He couldn’t have been more loving. And it is all true. Every word.
In this day of mass confusion and upset, I acknowledge I still wear the heavy Momma Bear coat…even though all of my children are adults. I want to protect my them and grandchildren. But simply put…I cannot.
I will never be able to fully remove this coat I’ve worn for almost 40 years. That I am sure of. Nor, do I believe that I should. I just don’t quite understand what mom means currently. My children are all I have. I really don’t understand my role in life anymore, my place, or even where home truly is. I feel displaced and sort of, out-of-sorts.
But Zeke speaks truth. I’m not in a place of power to save our world, or them. So I will remove the cape I draped over the shoulders of my woolly coat. And I will replace that cape with prayer.
A burdensome weight was lifted during our conversation. My heart has been awfully tired as of late, so I found some relief. My nature is that of a fixer; a healer, of sorts. But I cannot carry the weight of the world any longer. Only Jesus can. So I will give it back to Him.
Who says you cannot learn from your children? I will never say that. They have taught me many things about life and God. And even about myself.
I love my children. And I would do anything for them. I guess for now, I just need to love them. Oh, and maybe laugh a little more with them.
Thank you for reading this lengthy post. I feel it was all so important that I couldn’t chisel it down in length. I feel there are some who just might relate to this message.
Have a blessed weekend. ♥️
Photos: all mine except for the quoted picture, Pinterest/ internet
When God tells us to do something with ALL our heart, do we really and truly comprehend the concept of ALL? I will go on record here as saying…No, I do not grasp that concept fully.
What does it mean to surrender ALL to Him? My being (my dedication) is divided among so many “loves”. How do we give God our ALL?
This topic came to mind this afternoon when I texted my verse-of-the-day to my kids. It’s one of my most favorite in the Bible.
5Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6In ALL your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
Maybe it’s just me but I struggle with letting go of stuff. I want to fix it. I want to control it. I want to have it…for whatever reason. This is definitely something I need to figure out. I’m sure I’d make a better Mom, Christian, friend, neighbor, coworker, sister, even writer, if I just let go of things to make room for ALL.
I continually acknowledge that I am a work in progress. And I am. The Potter is not done with me yet. Not even close.
Maybe we should think more about that tiny word ALL and the bigness it encompasses. It truly is a huge word in God’s eyes.
Have a great start to your weekend. Just don’t forget to include God in your plans. ♥️
Today was a fairly good day at work. But it was also a day of personal revelation, which wasn’t so good. It never feels good to be rebuked regardless if it was necessary or not. It kinda felt like this storm that rolled into the evening. Explosive, churning, a little bit scary, (a lot of sad), and it seemingly came out of nowhere.
I stopped along my way home to take pictures. It was beautiful but the pictures don’t capture the fury within those fast moving clouds.
Storms have a way of cleaning things up a bit, both in the air and on the earth. Rebuking is also cleansing, when done in love, for all parties concerned. I know I was rebuked in love. That I am certain of. And that is all that matters.
I’ve been feeling far from God lately. And as a mom, I worry about my kids more than myself, even though they are adults. When they were young, we discussed God with every topic in homeschool. We talked about current events and day to day living and it all centered around God. Now that they are no longer here, I’ve slid backwards, and I worry that I haven’t been the encouragement to them that I once was. Yesterday I started a group text with my four youngest to kind of bring us back together like we once were. I asked my kids to to share a scripture verse in our group text.
I didn’t know what I was going to write about tonight until I went back and reread their verses. Then I knew. They shared verses which are very fitting for this tumultuous world we live in. A world where we no longer know who is a friend, and who is not. A world where trust has been shattered and fear has taken its place. A world where a battle rages between good and evil.
To find the comfort and strength needed today we need to immerse ourselves in God’s word. I’m realizing that all the more. He knows the answers to all our questions. He knows our struggles and concerns. But He wants us to acknowledge Him too.
Here are the verses my kids shared. May you find comfort them as I do.
2 Kings 6:16-17 “‘Don’t be afraid,’ the prophet answered. ‘Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.’ And Elisha prayed, ‘Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.’ Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”
John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
Psalm 34:17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles.
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
God can heal our land, our people, our homes, our hearts…we need to do our part and give our lives back to Him. ♥️
It’s a rainy day. And as welcomed as it is, I wish I was at home enjoying it, curled up in a blanket, and in and out of naps. But for now, I am sitting in my car at the sports park. It is my lunch hour.
Because of the weather no one is around. So it’s very quiet except for the raindrops dropping onto my sunroof, leaves rustling periodically in the breeze, and the distant sound of a train approaching town. Nothing else. And I love it.
Nooooo….not what you’re thinking! Ha! Nothing like that song by the same name.
I’m having a delightful afternoon with my daughter and Nyx.
This is our go to place when Mattea and I need to get away. No matter what season, the falls is a gift that keeps on giving.
First we stopped by the oldest running general store in our state. The store owner even invited Nyx in and gave her a treat. I love this store. Wish my dad was here. He’d love it too.
We just had our lunch which was a salad similar to what I posted a few days ago. Lots of people here today and dogs. It’s hard to get pictures of the falls without people in it. People do kinda make me mad because they walk around all the Please Keep Clear signs and walk on ledges where they aren’t supposed to be. And they do it with young children. And they swim in no swim zones. One little girl was upset because she was standing in the water and there was a snake in the water next to her. She was with her parents as they had just moments earlier walked around the sign. What are we teaching our kids? Not to follow safety rules?
On another note, this is where my second oldest son was married. It was a gorgeous May wedding. Windy but sunny and very nice. My mom and dad were both here. Now that was a delightful day.
Hope you are refilling your bucket for the new week coming up. I am. ♥️
The week before my friend passed away she gave me a necklace that reads Live Life Full Circle. At the time she was preparing to leave as director of a grief support group and this was one of a couple of different necklaces that people could purchase to help support that group.
While I think I understand the meaning, I’m not sure that I do exactly because it could have read Live Life to the Fullest, Live Life Completely, or just, Live Life.
Full circle. What does that mean?
I know what living full circle does not mean. It doesn’t mean being born and living through old age because that just doesn’t happen for everyone.
So maybe it means to….
Feel every emotion. Fulfill every dream. Smell every flower. Love to the fullest. Give of yourself. Live every role you were meant to live.
It probably means to live life in every spectrum of color. Like an artist with his canvas and paint.
So I’m thinking full circle means making life happen during the dash on your headstone. You know…the dash between your birthdate and your death date. One date is already written in stone. We can’t change that. The other can be written at anytime so the dash is all we have.
Live life full circle. Live your dash. No one can do it for you. ♥️
Whatever decisions you make create the life you live. ~ Mattea
Photos: my florals taken yesterday; “live your dash”, internet
Everyone loves Grandpa. He isn’t blood to us but closer to us than most blood relation. We claim him as our own. And we love him dearly.
Grandpa used to live in Florida until just recently. He’s getting up in age now so he moved up here to be closer to family. He misses Florida though.
Grandpa taught us to play dice and golf, a card game. So when he visited or we visited him, we’d spend hours playing these games. A game wasn’t complete without him saying, “Winner and Champ-een…” and circling the winner’s name on the tablet and adding a star.
Grandpa loves movies too. Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Indiana Jones are a few he enjoyed watching with the kids when they were still at home. He has a few of his own favorites. Silverado, I think, is the first he mentions when asked. I got him to watch Return to Me with me once, and well…he cried. It’s now one of his favorites as well.
Many years ago, in the summer of 2006, when we all lived under one roof still, Grandpa came up to visit for a couple of weeks. We had a lot of fun with that visit. And we kept him busy.
We celebrated the 4th of July, his birthday in August, and a baking day. He built a bookcase for me, drank a lot of coffee, played poker with the kids, watched a ton of movies, more card playing and dice…
and then, he got sick.
We aren’t exactly sure what bothered his stomach so much. No one else had it. But he had nausea and the hersey squirts pretty bad. And it lasted about a week and a half. He still tried to have a good time. He never threw up but he carried a wastebasket around…just in case. The trash can become his buddy so he named it Wilson from the movie Castaway. Because of his issue on the other end he told the kids he lost his “pucker string”. Don’t make me explain that one to you.
Grandpa would set Wilson on a bar stool next to him when we played games. He’d have to leave the table several times but he’d always come back with a couple of jokes. He’s a good humored grandpa.
When Grandpa went home, it was really sad. So I decided to put a scrapbook together so he’d always remember the great time we had together.
He laughed when he received it at his home in Florida. I bet he even had some tears. That’s just the beautiful man he is. And when he got to missing us he’d pull out the book to look at and laugh all over again. Especially with that surprise ending.
Now that Grandpa is up here and getting older he asked me to keep the book. I have it now. What a wonderful keepsake.
The pucker string is a continued fun topic. It just doesn’t get old. That’s the humor in my family.
I hope you enjoyed this special memory of mine. It’s a pleasantry to recall the good times in our life. It’s also nice to share them.
Have a wonderful weekend. ♥️
I enjoyed creating the this scrapbook for Grandpa. It was a treasured visit with him. All the pics are taken from the book so please ignore the glare. I didn’t want to remove the pages,
They consistently break their own rules, guidelines, and mandates. They are paid by us yet they tell us what to do…while they don’t. They remove their masks when they think the cameras are off and arrest the rest of us who don’t comply.
They take away our police yet keep their own. We pay for that. They want to protect themselves and their property from us. Yet they want us to remain exposed and vulnerable to them.
It makes me think of a circus. The little monkey plays his tiny accordion and tips his hat for the audience to place their money. The little monkey does this for a peanut. His master trained him by leashing him, thus taking away his freedom, and then rewarding him with peanuts when he complies. His little monkey life ends on a leash, earning money for his keeper.
They took away our livelihood and put us on a leash while they barked commands and demands from their high places, fancy maskless dinners, and carefree vacations. They watch us and laugh. They command this and that. And we do it. They mix up the commands to confuse us and we comply. They watch us like little monkeys running around aimlessly and bumping into each other as we try to keep up with their merciless, senseless, and ever-changing commands. They laugh even harder. We tip our hat for them. And we give them our money. We do this in hope they will give us a piece of our freedom back. And they do, sorta. But you have to give up something else up in trade. Then they switch it up again…teasing us, taunting us. And the master laughs all the while.
They scared us into submission and then leashed us when we were at our lowest. They taught us to do tricks. Stupid pet tricks. And we did them. We still are.
We aren’t going to get our freedom back as long as we keep tipping our hat. I take no enjoyment of their degrading laughter, two-faced lies, and harsh judgments while I work hard to pay their wages. If you don’t believe they are laughing at us, think again. Rules for thee, but not for me. Isn’t that their motto?
Circus peanuts, or freedom? What do you want? I want our freedom back. All. Of. It.
I love the Lord of Rings trilogy. It’s a beautiful story of friendship, of internal and external battles between good and evil, of selflessness, and sacrifice. I adore The Shire and it’s inhabitants. The Hobbits touch my heart with their innocence and childish ways. They have such a big appetite for such a little people.
Here is their daily eating schedule. It causes them a fair amount of grief if it is altered.
First Breakfast – 7 a.m.
Second Breakfast – 9 a.m.
Elevenses – 11 a.m.
Luncheon – 1 p.m.
Afternoon Tea – 3 p.m.
Dinner – 6 p.m.
Supper – 9 p.m.
I thought of Hobbits when as I sat outside in the coolness of the evening. A hint of fall was in the air. There is also a hint of color in the tree across the road from me. That tree is always gorgeous in autumn .
First Fall is as exciting to me as First Breakfast is to a hobbit. And it awakens a great anticipation for Second Breakfast.
I love all seasons but fall is an unexplainable charm to me. It awakens me. It brings out the creative and romantic side of me. It’s both mystical and enchanting. Autumn is my favorite.
Now I can barely wait for Second Fall.
Enjoy this day. Time is fleeting. Seasons come and go like the wind. I’m not gonna rush summer but I certainly did like the taste of first fall. ♥️
I am discovering many things about myself lately. There’s a mixture of both good and bad. Things I need to work on. Things I need to let go of. But it’s all good in that I will learn to adapt to the changes I am making. Discovery is a process that requires time, realization, and acceptance.
I am discovering that simple is the absolute best route to take. It is the healthiest way to go concerning your overall well-being. I am taking that route. Hopefully, for good this time.
It’s about cleaning house and realizing what really matters and what does not. Eliminating the negative and refilling something…simple. Nothing that will strain your brain or hurt your heart. Finding contentment…
For instance my salad here. Isn’t it lovely? Everything in it is fresh and organic. There’s nothing added. No dressing either. And it tastes amazing. It is quite simple but yet healthy for my body. Eating it in the park is an added blessing. Making healthy choices…
I hope your day is marvelous. This post was short but hopefully sweet. I hope that you make the necessary changes in your life to make it more stress-free and peaceful. I am a work-in-progress. ♥️
This was a melancholy morning. I took my time getting out of bed and even though I slept well, I woke up tired. For some reason, even my coffee didn’t taste very good.
I got ready for work, patted Nyx on the head while reminding her to be a good girl while I was gone, and headed out the door. Even she looked melancholy but I guess that’s how she looks every time I leave her.
I am a music person. I have many playlists on my phone. Awhile back I told you about a song I listened to every morning on my drive to work. But I began to feel that my whole life was stuck in a rut so I needed to change things up a bit. I listened to that particular song every morning for about a year and a half. It served its purpose. Now I play an assortment of music.
This morning I scrolled through my playlists. Every single one of them mean something special to me. I stopped at MySoul. It is my newest playlist and will contain songs of great significance to me. Currently, there is but one song in there.
This song touches me deeply. And it did from the first time I heard it. It is called “The Sacrifice of Faramir” from The Return of the King, the third part of The Lord of the Rings. For some reason I am drawn to it. My daughter, Denae, sings it beautifully. And I have made a request that she sing it at my memorial.
This morning I chose this playlist to listen to. I turned it on and as soon as it began, I flashed back many years to when my kids were young, when they were still mine, and we were watching LOTR together. I can vividly see them sitting on the floor intently watching this wonderful story about the best of friendships. My heart almost stopped at the memory. I turned the song off before I went into a full blown cry fest. It happened so quickly.
The rest of my drive was spent deep in thought about the song, my children, and the name of this playlist. I realized just how much my children are pieces of my soul. Whenever they hurt I do too. Just as if I was the one enduring the pain and heartache. Whenever they are happy, my heart rejoices with them.
Having children is so much more than just having children. Your soul divides and each child is given a piece of you. How I miss being a mom to my young children. Those are the years I cherish.
My soul wanders about this earth in other bodies and in many different places. I hope they know that they carry the best part of me. I am far from perfect, but I managed to save the very best pieces for them. ♥️
If you by chance come across these any of these six beautiful people you would be blessed. Know that they are the very best of me.
Ever have those moments where, at the time, you wish you could hide under a rock? Maybe you weren’t hurt physically but wow…your pride sure was?
I’ve probably had more than my share, but I’m gonna share a few. It’s time for some laughs…even at my expense. Feel free to share an embarrassing moment of yours in the comments. It’s all good. You are among friends.
This first one might be more of humiliation than embarrassment, but probably both. Okay. The first two.
When I was about sixteen before we moved to a small town in Indiana, I dabbled with alcohol and pot. Boones Farm Strawberry Hill and Old Style beer. Yuck to both but that’s what us kids in the neighborhood drank. I even tried Marlboro cigarettes which I actually loved but never stuck with. One day my dad was curious about my sister and I after we got back from spending time with my cousin who was a year older than me. He knew what high looked like. So he told us that if your smoke pot your fingernails turn yellow. I immediately flipped my hands over and looked at my nails. Yep, that’s what I did. End of story.
In high school during my junior year, I became a weekend partier. Not really because it wasn’t every weekend. My girlfriend, Robin, and I bought these huge tumblers for our mixed drinks. So when I did drink, I drank big.
One Saturday night I went to a party. I drank big that night. My friend, Gary, pulled me back from the bonfire so I wouldn’t catch fire, or fall in. Then I walked right over and puked all over the side of our friend’s house. Yeah, all over the aluminum siding. I’m sure his parents were not happy with that one. From then on Gary called me AL. Short for alcoholic.
Several years prior to this next incident, my mom, sister, and I took a road trip to Minnesota. It was always fun with those two because we laughed so much. We had stopped at a rest area and were enjoying a nice day and stretching our legs for a bit when a woman comes strolling out of the bathroom. As she walked by we noticed she was sporting an extremely long toilet paper tail. We laughed uncontrollably. How does that even happen?!
Fast forward to a parents meeting of my son’s kindergarten class at a Christian school. I had been at work and raced to get there. But first, I needed to use the restroom. Since I was almost late, the classroom was already packed with parents quietly sitting in their seats. There was only one empty chair left. Front row, center. I had no choice but to take it.
After the meeting, we all stood up and started chatting with each other. I casually reached back to straighten my clothing…when…what?…what is that…omygosh…is it what I think it is? Yep. I was sporting a long toilet paper tail. No one said a word to me about it. I was soooooo embarrassed! I still wonder to this day…how does that happen?! And how did that group of parents keep from laughing when I sat down in front of them? What I learned was…don’t laugh at other people’s embarrassing moments. 😬
I went roller skating a lot in my young years. You know, the real skates with four wheels on each skate. I went with a group of girls so we could skate and look at boys. Hopes were that we might be asked by a boy to partner with him for the couples skate. This was an embarrassing and awkward age for me. Well, I came out of the bathroom and began to skate when I noticed toilet paper was all wound up around one of the wheels, sporting a little tail of its own. Could I have been any more embarrassed? Nope, not at that age.
Once I ran into the little mom & pop store after church one wintery night. The cars park right up to the sidewalk along the front and south side of the building. I parked on the south side. I grabbed my paper sack full of groceries with loose grapes on top and headed out to my car. My first thought was how glad I was that a car had its headlights on so I could see the corner better to get to my car when…whoops…I slipped on the icy sidewalk directly in front of that car. Up flew my skirt. Up flew the groceries out of the bag, and into my hair went the grapes. You know my hair. You’ve seen it. This crazy hair latched on tight to those grape vines. Did anyone bother to get out of their cars to help me? Nope. Not only did my arse hurt but my pride took a beating.
Trying to get up and pull my skirt down from around my waist while on ice was challenging. I still had to collect the groceries that fell out of the bag too. I did all this with grapes hanging out of my hair. First things first you know, and getting my skirt down to its modest length was a priority. Wow…what a show I put on. I’m almost certain the occupants in the parked cars were laughing their arses off and couldn’t help me if they wanted to. Heck, I even laughed ever-so-slightly when I felt the grapes in my hair.
Besides getting into other people’s cars in parking lots, wearing my workout pants inside-out and backwards, backing into a candle on New Year’s Eve and catching my sweater on fire, oh…and that little incident at the gun shop…I’m pretty sure there are many more moments I have conveniently forgotten.
Thank you for stopping by to see what I have to say today. I hope this has been a fun way to start your Monday. I laughed while putting it together. ♥️
Hope you enjoyed my goat pics as well. Goats are some of the cutest, funniest animals on this planet.
I am not a perfect human being by any means. I will never mislead anyone to believe I am anything but imperfection at its finest. I try my best to be better with every day. I wear my heart for all to see. I try to see the the very best in others. I forget and move on past most unpleasantries rather easily. Probably to a fault. I’m vocal on some issues, quiet on others, and maybe somewhat excitable. How about this…I am passionate.
When I see a very good thing, I will, in all honesty, go after it whether it is an opportunity of some sort or a relationship. This is only after I have weighed the pros and cons and also see a sincere interest from the other side as well. So when I get excited and enthusiastic over something amazing, well…I get excited and enthusiastic. Then guess what usually happens? The other side backs off. Their initial excitement appears to have never happened, which leaves me standing all alone scratching my head, and usually in tears. Pretty soon it looks like I was the only participating participant in the endeavor/ communication/ relationship. I’m left in a state of confusion and not understanding. Yep, that pretty much hurts.
The cost of being me…
People say that one of the most important qualities they desire in others is honesty. But I’ve found out that many do not even though they say they do. They really do not care one way or the other. If we are building a relationship and I have learned to trust you 100%, I will spill my 100% honest guts all over you. You ask questions and I answer. And I do the same with you. That’s what people do in close friendships or relationships. Or, so I thought. But then you walk away and I’m left feeling empty and vulnerable that I opened up to yet another person. And I simply do not get it.
The cost of being me…
I’ve been told recently that I need to open up even more. But I know the risk of that all too well. How many more people need to walk this earth knowing the intimate details of my story? I am beginning to lose trust in people.
If I am drawn into your world because you have welcomed me into it, please don’t just walk away after getting me to trust you. After I’ve shared my story, please don’t just pretend that you didn’t open your heart to me so I would be comfortable to share. I’d rather become a hermit and live that type of lonely than continually suffer the humiliation and embarrassment of feeling like I was very important to you when I was nothing but another name that crossed your path.
The cost of being me…is high. Or, am I cheap. I’m not sure how to look at it. I am gullible. I am naive. And I am all too trusting.
The cost of being me…is painful.
I am not sure how to do things differently. Am I supposed to change who I am? I don’t know that I want to. I worked very hard to get to this point where I’m actually beginning to like who I am. But I certainly do not like my vulnerability. And I lack understanding, for sure.
Okay, I woke up with that heaviness on my heart this morning. But I don’t want to leave you feeling heavy from reading this. I’m still growing and learning. I am okay, really. No worries. So to lift you back up I am sending you this gorgeous face to brighten your day. She posed for me at the county fair. Isn’t she a cutie? (I call her a she because of her gorgeous eyelashes.)
Have a great day and a great start to the new week. Praise God in all things. Even in your trials. ♥️
The cost of being me no way compares to the cost of being Jesus. He came to this earth and endured more than any one of us could ever comprehend. He made Heaven a possibility for each of us. ♥️
Often we judge others as being a hypocrite. We can see hypocrisy everywhere. In our politicians, in other various forms of leadership, at work, in our schools, and sadly, in our churches. We watch how others live and see how their words just don’t match up with their actions.
How often though are we also hypocrites? Do we say one thing yet do another? Do as I say, not as I do. Are we judgmental of others while doing the same only privately? Are we pretending to be someone’s friend only because we see a possible gain of some sort? Do we boast of being a Christian yet God’s rules don’t apply to us? We humans love to rationalize and we can make just about anything right in our own eyes.
Living a hypocritical life is purely for self gain. Everything bad usually derives from selfishness. I know I have been selfish. Hypocritical too. It’s nothing to be proud of.
It’s probably best not to promote ourself a certain way when we know we’re going to do what we want…which is the exact opposite. It’s maybe best to be quiet, I think. Or, better yet…just be honest.
Thank you again for sharing a moment of your time, and a cup of coffee with me. ♥️
I wrote a blog a long time ago about this same subject. I felt compelled to write about it again.
What is a gift, first of all? Well, it’s something we give to another with no strings attached. It’s given from the heart. A gift can be material or not.
A gift is also a special talent given to us from Above. I could never list all of the wonderful talents God has blessed us with. They are as unique and individual as we are. I truly believe each of us has at least one gift, if not several.
When I was a young mom with four kids, I became to frustrated with my life. Even angry at times. I thought, is this all there is to MY life? When is it MY time?
As hard as that was to share with you, I’m happy to say that was a very short-lived season in my life. I prayed a lot and threw my anger, resentment, and frustration at His feet. And then it came to me. I was in the most perfect place. I was doing exactly what I should have been doing. I was being a mom. And that was my gift from God.
Once I realized this my heart was settled and I found the most fulfilling part of my life was being a committed mom. I was exactly where I should be.
I am in no way suggesting that my life was a piece of cake from then on. I was in a bad marriage and I was distracted often with depression, grief, and sadness. Sadly, sometimes those pulled me away from the closeness with my children. It was a time of great confusion for all of us. But, regardless, being a mom was/ is my gift.
Another gift for me is writing. I don’t consider myself to be an exceptional writer, but the messages I receive from readers let me know that I touch them in one way or another. And I am grateful for that.
Have you ever regifted a gift? We might feel somewhat awkward regifting a material gift. But the gifts/ talents we have been blessed with should be regifted. Sacrificing and sharing our time, energy, our voices, our hands…those are of great importance. What is a talent worth if it’s not given to others?
What is your gift? What do you do with it? There are a great many blessings in regifting.
Enjoy your Saturday. I’m drinking my coffee out on my deck. It is cool this morning. A welcomed change for sure. ♥️
This topic partners well with yesterday’s blog. We have all sorts of well-meaning people telling us how to walk through our life. Including how we walked years ago. How does that even make sense? You should have…should never be included in conversation.
I know people may have the best of intentions most of the time, but it isn’t fair to critique someone’s walk in life. Not unless you’ve actually walked in their shoes. And if you haven’t, then leave their shoelaces alone.
Example…I have married women who tell me that I don’t need a man in my life. I don’t need a man to make me happy and that I need to enjoy my independence and my freedom. Then they tack on a little…you are so lucky.
Well, my first thought is this…I’m 60 years old. I’ve been married for 31 of those. I kinda think I know what marriage is about. So please don’t treat me like I haven’t a clue.
Please don’t try to tie my shoes.
My second thought is…I really feel sorry for you that you view my singleness as luck and that you admire me for being alone. It speaks volumes about you and your mindset about your own marriage.
I walked a lot of miles in those marriage shoes. Even though my two marriages failed, I still believe in it. Why? For many reasons, but first and foremost, it is God’s design. And He designed it for a reason.
Regardless of what your story is, you’ve walked miles in your own shoes. You’ve experienced things I never have. You see life from different angles. I’ve experienced things that would probably make your jaw drop and it’s been suggested many times that I write a book about my life. Well…if I did that, many names would have to be changed. And then I’d have to cut my hair and move to some place like Slickpoo, Two Egg, Burnt Porcupine, Mudd Butte, Knockemstiff, Smackover, Bumpass, or Ding Dong USA.
But because of our own personal experiences, we have learned and grown in our own way. We managed to survive. It was our journey. Our views of life vary because of it. Our hearts beat to different drums, Someone else may have experienced a similar walk. Yet, we are still very different.
So when someone tells you where to jump and how high…kindly say:
Please don’t even try to tie my shoes.
But I’m not suggesting that with our different views in life should there be division among us. No, quite the contrary. We should have an even greater need and compassion for one another. If anything, our walks have shown us the fragility of life. Every single day is sacred. And it’s to be shared with one another.
Please don’t try to tie anyone’s shoes.
There’s a difference between being critical and helping someone with compassion, love, and understanding.
Thanks for having coffee with me today. May your Friday be amazing. Be grateful always. I am certainly grateful for my Tamarindo Pathfinder slip-ons. No shoelaces. ♥️
We all have a past. Some of it is exceptionally good while other parts might be a little on the dark side. We are human and we make mistakes, bad choices, and wrong decisions. Sometimes we are caught up in something so off-color, we don’t even realize the messiness of our life. That is, until we find a way to look in from the outside. Then it’s eye-opening. Or, it should be anyway.
I know my past very well. I’d prefer that some of it was buried deep so I’d never ever have to look at it again. But, I also realize that my past has shaped me, molded me, and helped me to become a better person. Not that I would EVER suggest that you intentionally do wrong because it might make you a better person later. DO NOT DO THAT. We can definitely learn enough from all the things we unintentionally do wrong.
Moving on up to the present…
So we have a past. If you haven’t learned anything, if you are still living in unproductive and unhealthy patterns, then expect others to talk about you and your life. It’s going to happen. Your past defines your present.
But if you have changed and grown, and you’ve left your old life behind, do not allow it to define you. If someone tries to bind your past to the present, do not allow it bring you down. Sadly, there are those who walk this earth who are relentless and unforgiving. Whose sole purpose in life (so it seems) is to disrupt other’s lives so no one notices theirs. Do not let it touch your heart. You do not answer to them. As hard as it might be, walk away knowing you are better than that person of yesterday. Walk away with your head held high because you no longer know or associate with the person they speak of.
I am one who carries much guilt from my past. I’m a sponge that has absorbed all the pain, hurt, and sorrow throughout my lifetime. One wrong word from certain people and I can lose a day, or a week, or longer, because my spirit is crushed and I once again feel every bit of my unworthiness. So this post is for me.
We all have our crosses to bear, but it’s wonderful to know that we don’t have to carry the weight alone. It’s awesome that we are not going to be judged by humans.
Do not let your past define you. Be strong and hold your head high. You are an overcomer and a survivor. Lean on those who fill you your bucket. Walk away from the rest.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But I believe we can all pretty much agree on what is beautiful. If we are referring to a humanthough, no matter who it is, beauty is found deep within the soul. That’s where we should be looking. Someone can be adored for being the #1 top-rated most beautiful man or woman of the whole universe, but yet have the personality of a #2 skillet. Another may not be as pleasing to the eye but would sacrifice their life for yours. The soul houses the truest part of you, and of me, and I believe if you look hard enough you will see their soul through their eyes.
But this post isn’t about eyes being the window to the soul. Although I may need to consider it in the future. No, this post is about beautiful things found within our day to day living. Very simple, yet beautiful things.
So many blessings around us. Each and everyday these blessings are just waiting to be noticed. I could have shared so much more out of my 19,000 pics on my phone. I’m sure if you made a list of your own we’d see that we have a great deal in common. We all have many things in common.
Wouldn’t it be grand if every person focused on our similarities instead of division? There is no race in a sunset, a baby’s smile, or in a newly fallen snow. We have so much in common.
Thank you for being here again to share a moment with me. This is the highlight of my day…writing to you. ♥️
Photo credits: all mine except for the ballon picture, courtesy of BB, and the waves picture which is courtesy of my son, Jet
When the work day doesn’t always go as so well, it’s nice to know that you will be greeted with love when you arrive at home.
Nyx goes crazy when I walk through the door to the house. I can barely get inside. Then she races around and barks at everyone inside the house and runs back to me. She does this several times. She’s a nut.
Crystal is afraid of getting stomped on by an over reactive Nyx so she tries to see me while staying clear of her. But Nyx will bark loudly in her face and it stops her in her track.
Amber will be waiting for me at the end of the entryway, smiling with her squinty eyes and maybe offering me a gift as goldens tend to do. She tries to avoid getting knocked over too, and Nyx doesn’t leave her out. She also gets a big dose of dog bark from the wild one.
I’m not sure about Frodo yet. He loves to be held…for now. I take it that he likes me at least a little. He also seems to do fine with Crystal. This little guy has sent Nyx scurrying to her corner with his barely audible hiss and a swipe of his tiny paw. We will see as Frodo gets bigger who will win. But currently Frodo is ahead 1-0.
Animals are pretty amazing when it comes to lifting spirits and healing hearts. I cannot hardly tolerate the extra hair around this place (just ask my kids) but I’m not sure what I’d do without our dogs…and our new kitten.
Enjoy your evening, and your pets, if you’ve been blessed with any. ♥️
I’ve encountered situations throughout my lifetime where I felt it absolutely necessary to win. To come out on top. To be the first, the best, the most righteous, the wisest. And some of these were more likely than not at the expense of another.
How often have we misrepresented ourselves and/or our intention to get what we want? Have we ever taken advantage of someone’s kindness, their trusting spirit, their graciousness because they are an easy target?
Are we willing to throw out all of our upbringing, our schooling, our religious teaching, our morals, our values for a moment of victory? Just to say, I conquered?
What did we actually achieve, besides gloating for a day or two? What was the prize? A name for ourself? Another tally mark?
Winning is never winning if we are not a good and honest person. When we sacrifice others for our own glory, that speaks volumes about the condition of our heart. And it is a true reflection of who we are.
I’d like to believe that I am far removed from that part of my life. I’ve seen the faces of those I’ve hurt in the past. There is no triumph, no glory, no winning, no satisfaction in that. I’ve felt the pain of another’s defeat at the expense of me being having to be right or get what I wanted.
What matters in life is honesty. It’s about being a good person no matter what the circumstance or where we are. It’s being Christ-like whether we are in, or out, of a church building. Because nothing is hidden from God.
The ultimate win is entering the pearly gates at the end of our own personal race. ♥️
In March of 2020, I wrote a post called Not Made of Steel. As of today, I still am not. In fact, I am more frail than I am strong.
Writing often helps me sort out my thoughts and put things into proper perspective. I discover a great deal about myself through writing. And I acknowledge there is a lesson to learn in every.single.thing. The lesson I’ve learned recently is certainly a tough one to swallow. When you think you cannot be humbled anymore, think again. Here I am as proof.
I have highs and lows just like anyone. I have meltdowns. I sing. I suffer heartbreak. I dance. I get angry. I feel alone. I laugh. I panic. I sing and dance. I fear. I get excited. I get depressed. I dream big. I cry. I worry. I fall on my face. I get up. I praise God. I grieve. I cry some more. I raise my voice. Sometimes, I can’t speak. I want to quit one day and fly the next.
We all go through the same things. The only difference is I put it all in writing for all to see. I make myself vulnerable just to connect with you, either privately, or publicly here.
I write from my heart which I wear it on my sleeve. I feel deep and I share that depth of emotion. I write in love and with all sincerity. I can be deeply honest as to how I feel. And if I truly believe I am right, I will share that. Combine that with being too persistent at times and I come across as being brutal. The end result is a loss of a friend or two.
Doesn’t everyone want to be heard, or is it just me? Or maybe I just want to be acknowledged. Whatever it is…I have been greatly humbled. Hit hard. And quite frankly, it doesn’t feel so good. Does humbling ever though?
I do not set out to hurt others or appear to be holier than thou. I am in search of answers and fulfillment in life just as you. I fall flat more frequently than not. Today, I am not in a good place. I question my purpose. I don’t wear a cape or carry a shield. I’m so not made of steel. Not today.
I am not perfect. When I can finally see a problem within myself, I need to correct it. We all need to do a little reflecting periodically. It is a type of cleansing.
I entitled this Me because this is about me. It’s about my shortcoming, my grief, my embarrassment, my repentance. If you can relate then there is a blessing in my sharing this.
Maybe my today was your yesterday. Maybe you will struggle tomorrow. Just know that we all do. If life was perfect here we wouldn’t strive to reach Heaven. God wants us to be in Heaven with Him.
When you are confronted with tough decisions and/ or conflict, take into account both sides of the scenario. And do so with an open mind.
Life isn’t fair. At least, not for the most part. But that shouldn’t keep us from being as fair as possible in all of our considerations. Seeing both sides of an equation will give us better insight, a better understanding, of each other. Life is not fair. Simply put. Life isn’t just about me, nor is it just about you. Life is learning to live along side with one another. It’s about living together as a couple, a family, a community, a nation, a world. It’s about finding a common ground even with all of our differences.
Do all with understanding…
I do not have all the answers. No one does. Sharing ideas, concepts, and thought processes only widen our vision and perception of how problems can be solved and of how our world turns. Listening and learning. It’s how we become wiser. It’s how we become more passionate and compassionate for others.
Do all with understanding…even when we find it difficult, troubling, and uncomfortable. I’m not suggesting to compromise falsities over truth, or evil over good. But truly listen to what others are saying so you can have a better understanding of each other. Truth will prevail if both listen to the other side and think about what’s been presented. I believe that.
An afternoon thought today. Sitting on my front porch swing always helps me to think a little deeper.
I hope you are enjoying this lovely Saturday. Thank you for being here. ♥️
Two days ago, my boss, Keith, came into the office with blood all over his arm. I gave him a concerned gasp when I saw it. He said, “Don’t worry, it’s not mine.” Well, that certainly didn’t make me feel any better. Especially since he was smiling and seemed to be quite happy. What did you do?? LOL
Keith explained that he was driving when he saw something tiny in the road. He stopped and saw it was an injured kitten. He also noticed that his sibling was deceased. So Keith picked him up before the next vehicle, which was huge truck, ended his life. He took him to the vet where they were checking him out. Keith said he would be needing to find a home for him. And then said, “Oh, by the way, his name is Cash.” The kitten was hit in front of a business called Cash. My heart melted. My boss is the best.
He got good reports from the vet throughout the day. The kitten was kept overnight. Yesterday, we had our company staff meeting and my boss announced right off that he needed to find home. I spoke up first. Keith renamed him Johnny Cash after finding out he was male. Dressed in his black coat like Johnny, it was perfect.
After the meeting, I stopped at the store and picked up all the supplies I’d need for this little guy. Then I went to the vet. I got all teared up when they brought him out to me. He was so tiny. They believe him to be about six weeks old. How he survived getting hit by a car with only a little limp and a tiny cut is a miracle. My gracious, animal-loving boss is picking up all his bills. Even his first shots and neutering.
Cash was a little talker for sure. All the vet techs had fallen in love with him. As I drove home with him snuggled up by my collar bone he talked for a bit and then found comfort in my hair. He even started to purr.
I didn’t go straight home. I pulled off by a park and bonded with him a little more before taking him home to the chaos. Namely, Nyx. When we got home he was behind me with his head resting on my shoulder. I told my daughter about the kitten the day of the accident. She sent me kitten memes all day. But yesterday morning I said I didn’t know that we should get him. Life is already stressful enough. So she basically thought the answer was no.
When she came out to greet me and saw his little face peering from behind, well…she melted too.
He’s a cuddly kitten and I hope he stays that way. Cats are different, you know. Typically, it’s their way or the highway.
My daughter is in love, and, so am I. His name has been changed to Frodo. I might secretly call him Cash. I like that name and I’m appreciative of all that my boss did for him.
Welcome home, little Frodo/ Cash. You’ve got eight lives left. Let’s make the best of them together as a family. ♥️
I was recently digging through some of my old treasures from decades ago. But when opening up little boxes and containers it seemed like only yesterday I saw them last. Actually, there’s been a whole lot of life lived between then and now.
My girls made fun of some of the things I kept. I admit they are kinda weird. A red Cookie Monster puppet with a deflated ping pong eye. A dog head puppet that is now as hard as rock. A stuffed koala named Cory, that is missing a couple of his plastic paws and his nose.
My candy stripe uniform from when I volunteered at the hospital. My one-piece gym suit. Lovely. My tonette, of which I can still play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. A creepy smiley face I made, raccoon teeth, and my Born Loser comics.
One of my favorite baby dolls was in that box too. Oh, my how I loved that baby. I took her everywhere. I guess I was practicing loving on her so I could love on my own real babies years down the road.
When I tell people how scary I look in the morning, I describe my hair as that of a doll that’s been left in an attic for 50 years. My baby’s hair isn’t too bad when you think she’s about 54 years old. But then mine is a whole lot longer. Pretty darn scary, fellas. Maybe this explains why I don’t have a man. 😬
I also found a painted egg that my friend, Judy Lynn, had made for me. She took a needle and poked a hole at each end and blew the egg out of the shell. Then she painted it. After all these years it’s still intact. I store it in a Blue Jeans cologne box. Remember that cologne?
I guess the creepiest of my toys were the Thumbelina dolls. You pulled the string in their back and they’d roll their head around in a circle. One of them hummed inside when the string was pulled and my girls found that quite disturbing and made me stop playing with it.
All of these treasures brought back great memories of a childhood long gone. Seeing this stuff made me feel a little homesick. But in a good way. As we grow older I think sometimes we want to go back to our roots. At least revisit them. Long before my mom passed she desired to have her ashes spread at the Chiricahua National Monument located in the southeast corner of Arizona. She loved that part of the country. But at the very end of life, she just wanted to go home. And that being Detroit Lakes, Minnesota.
I finally dug through small containers that held my jewelry. This is when I found my spoon ring. I think I bought it around the age 15. I guess that means about 45 years ago. I held it while I thought about my life back then and the all friends I hung out with when I wore it. I thought about my friend Ronnie, the wild boy in the neighborhood with the big red truck and the baby blue Galaxy 500 convertible…the first boy to steal my heart.
I tried on the ring and it fit. Okay, okay…I had to open it up slightly to make it fit better. I cleaned it up with an old toothbrush and my stove top cleaner and got it shining pretty good. I slipped it on my left index finger and there it’s stayed. And I love it. I really don’t care if it looks tacky. It means a lot to me right now. Maybe with my dad’s passing recently I’m even a little more homesick. This ring is about as close to home as I can get. Home being the sweet memories of time with my family and friends in the ‘70’s. Ahhhh….what a decade that was.
I repacked my boxes of treasures, and set them back in the garage. I will go through them again another day and pitch what I really don’t need to keep. You probably have an idea of what all that might be.
It’s nice to reminisce once in awhile. I hope you enjoyed my little blast from the past. Just please don’t tell me my old spoon ring looks tacky. LOL ♥️
(Based on the song You Say, by Lauren Daigle. Highlighted words belong to her.)
I listened to this song twice on my way to work this morning. It hit home. When nothing seems to go right, when you just don’t measure up, and when you feel empty and alone…this song is a reminder that God sees you differently than you see yourself.
I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know
He is a comfort in times of trial and heartache. He supports us when we do not have the strength to support ourself.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak And you say I am held when I am falling short And when I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe Oh I believe What You say of me I believe.
The question is…do we believe? I mean really believe? I know I fall short. I doubt at times. A lot of times. I get angry sometimes too. I realize there is another power on this earth who wants me to question my belief in my God; who wants me to fail. So I need to be much stronger.
This song gave me encouragement this morning. I hope you find encouragement through it as well. ♥️
The YouTube link is below. Hopefully, it will come through on your email. Sometimes it does not.