I am back home in Indiana now. My dad continues to fight. There’s nothing I can do for him and I can no longer see him, except through a window, so I came home. I was torn about staying and leaving, and my heart hurts very much.
As I travelled on airlines, walked through a beautiful city, did some people-watching in parks, and dealt with health care facilities, I am even more convinced that we are doing some things wrong. I believe that people need physical touch, skin to skin. We need to hug and shake hands. We need to see maskless, smiling faces again. So many rules and mandates are controversial and contradictory. People are letting fear lead them. Freedoms are given back in some respect but many people prefer to continue to live in fear. We’ve become so sterile and distant from one another, that we’ve lost some of our humanness. It’s becoming a cold world.
My brother was able to visit our dad on Tuesday afternoon. Later, Dad was transferred to another hospital because his condition worsened. I was able to see him on Wednesday in the critical care unit. This hospital allowed me to see my dad without a gown or gloves. I was able to talk closely to him. I rubbed his head, played with his hair, and held his hand. Skin to skin. The very thing I needed to do. The very thing so many are denied. I touched my dad.
I am sad that I didn’t get to communicate with my dad the way my siblings did. They talked to him and he talked back even though he was somewhat irritated. But I am blessed in that I was able to touch him and tell him that I love him.
My trip to Florida was bittersweet. I was blessed greatly by a friend. I met new people and gained a new friend. I saw beautiful scenery. I spent quality time with my siblings. I saw my father. I had peaceful moments. I laughed, and I cried.
Yesterday Dad took another turn for the worse. We can only see him through glass and he is still heavily sedated. It will probably be this way for awhile. I guess I needed to come home for now. It’s hard no matter where I am.
Thank you for staying with me during this very difficult time. I appreciate all the views and messages sent to me. ♥️