Pathways

January 17, 2020
(Edited January 17, 2021)

Sometimes life takes you places you never dreamed. And somehow you are not on the same path as when you started this journey. How you drifted onto another pathway is a mystery. Now all of a sudden there are people in your life who take ahold of your heart and make you feel again. Feelings that you thought you’d never experience again or had completely forgotten about. Those people who draw you in make you feel a part of something way bigger than yourself. Beautiful people. That’s who they are. And that’s where I am now.

When I had my will drawn up two years ago, I requested to not have a funeral. I did not want my kids to pay for a funeral that only a couple of people would maybe attend. That’s how I felt. I felt I was pretty much alone, other than my kids and a few close friends. What a difference a couple of years can make.

How did I get on this new path?

Maybe there was a gentle nudge from Above that gradually moved me to another path. Or maybe I got off the path because I wasn’t paying attention. I am sure that a couple of times I defiantly walked off a pathway and into a briar patch as I have gotten beaten up along life’s way and have the scars to prove it.

Maybe it was a combination of both. A gentle nudge into the briar patch because I had lessons to learn. I had a spirit to humble, a soul to strengthen, demons to conquer, and wisdom to gain. That’s probably it.

However I got to this place really doesn’t matter. I’m here now. And I’m glad. I wish I didn’t go through all that I have in life. I wish I didn’t make wrong decisions. But that’s how I learn. Always the hard way. I am grateful that God stayed with me even when I was disrespectful, undeserving, and often, unloving. Especially during those many times when I turned my back on Him. I was angry and I questioned Him more times than I should have. But He knew my heart then and He knows my heart now. I needed to go through rough stuff to be a better, stronger person. And I am grateful that He is patient.

I am very thankful for the wonderful people who have richly blessed my life over the past couple of years. And, really, over the course of my life. Beautiful people. God had a hand in it, I’m sure. He is so good to us.

So maybe sometimes it’s needed to change paths and just not fight it. Circumstances often change as well, and those whom we love deeply, for some reason, are walking a path that no longer connects with ours. Hopefully, paths will cross again to fill the emptiness.

Be grateful for smooth pathways but especially the rough ones for they give us wisdom. ♥️

Andi

Photos: all mine. 🙂