Saying Goodbye

I’ve never had to say goodbye to anyone before. Or, maybe I should say I’ve never had the opportunity to say goodbye. My mom and my best friend both passed away suddenly, and quietly. I didn’t have the chance to tell them goodbye. I’m not sure which is worse.

This pain follows me from room to room. It is relentless. I tried to leave it in the house but it followed me out here to the deck. Even my beloved sun can’t protect me from the throbbing pain. Nor does it dry my river of tears.

I feel the cool breeze on my face, and through my hair, and I think of Dad out on the Atlantic on his sailboat, the Dire Strait. The sea breeze and salty mist making his wavy hair very happy. I got my hair from Dad. I know what sea breezes do to mine. It’s the same. And I love it. I thank him everyday for my hair. Although, I curse him on my bad hair days. But I’m glad I have this special part of him.

Today is a trying day for us all. His prognosis is not good. I tried to work today. I barely made it three hours before I came home. I love my dad. And this is just too hard.

I never had to say goodbye before. 💔

Andi