My dad and I love each other. We do. But we haven’t always seen things eye to eye. In fact, very seldom have we ever. Our strong, bullheaded personalities clash. We haven’t shared the same views on important topics. We’ve misunderstood one another. We’ve baited each other. We’ve been defensive. We’ve criticized. We’ve yelled, and we’ve been silent. We’ve hurt each other…and deeply at times. And all of this for most of my 60 years.
I really don’t know why. But maybe there’s really no one answer. Maybe it’s a combination of reasons. Regardless of the why, life is so terribly short to spend your days, months, and years living in the hurt. I realize this ever so much more now as I watch my dad fighting for his life.
We reconciled in January when I called him on my way to work. Dad asked me what was so wrong between us for all these years. I said I didn’t know. We talked things out for a bit and then we decided that that day was to be our Day One of a renewed relationship as father and daughter.
I am grateful that we still had time. Time to share a loving moment together even if it was only over the phone. We do not know the when, the how, and the where of our last meetings and conversations with those we love, so we need to do better. We need to be better.
I love my dad. Time was wasted, and while it was both our faults, it doesn’t change the fact that we missed out on so much life together. Time doesn’t wait on us. We need to seek out time and mend the fences.