Me

In March of 2020, I wrote a post called Not Made of Steel. As of today, I still am not. In fact, I am more frail than I am strong.

Writing often helps me sort out my thoughts and put things into proper perspective. I discover a great deal about myself through writing. And I acknowledge there is a lesson to learn in every.single.thing. The lesson I’ve learned recently is certainly a tough one to swallow. When you think you cannot be humbled anymore, think again. Here I am as proof.

I have highs and lows just like anyone. I have meltdowns. I sing. I suffer heartbreak. I dance. I get angry. I feel alone. I laugh. I panic. I sing and dance. I fear. I get excited. I get depressed. I dream big. I cry. I worry. I fall on my face. I get up. I praise God. I grieve. I cry some more. I raise my voice. Sometimes, I can’t speak. I want to quit one day and fly the next.

We all go through the same things. The only difference is I put it all in writing for all to see. I make myself vulnerable just to connect with you, either privately, or publicly here.

I write from my heart which I wear it on my sleeve. I feel deep and I share that depth of emotion. I write in love and with all sincerity. I can be deeply honest as to how I feel. And if I truly believe I am right, I will share that. Combine that with being too persistent at times and I come across as being brutal. The end result is a loss of a friend or two.

Doesn’t everyone want to be heard, or is it just me? Or maybe I just want to be acknowledged. Whatever it is…I have been greatly humbled. Hit hard. And quite frankly, it doesn’t feel so good. Does humbling ever though?

I do not set out to hurt others or appear to be holier than thou. I am in search of answers and fulfillment in life just as you. I fall flat more frequently than not. Today, I am not in a good place. I question my purpose. I don’t wear a cape or carry a shield. I’m so not made of steel. Not today.

I am not perfect. When I can finally see a problem within myself, I need to correct it. We all need to do a little reflecting periodically. It is a type of cleansing.

I entitled this Me because this is about me. It’s about my shortcoming, my grief, my embarrassment, my repentance. If you can relate then there is a blessing in my sharing this.

Maybe my today was your yesterday. Maybe you will struggle tomorrow. Just know that we all do. If life was perfect here we wouldn’t strive to reach Heaven. God wants us to be in Heaven with Him.

Thank you for listening. ♥️

Andi

Photos: a creek near me, taken yesterday