i wonder

i walk down a wintery path
in silence i reflect
on the many lives i’ve lived
and of the many hats i’ve worn
…and i wonder
how do i feel about it all?

i look upward into a snowy sky
i enjoy the touch of snowflakes upon my lashes and upon my cheek
and for that moment, i am a little girl of nine
when my dreams of a storybook love first began
…and i wonder
how do i feel about it all?

my head spins as i travel
through the many years
of happy moments
and of the saddest of times
of now realizing the true meaning of lonely
and of knowing the true meaning of love.

sitting in my gazebo, i listen to the silence of the snow
which is broken only by a heavy beat of a scarred heart
and a breath that freezes from my lips
and i realize the fragility of the human spirit
and how that sometimes (many times)
life just isn’t fair.

i walk the wintery path toward home
and i’m met by my delightful offspring
who’ve only just begun their earthly journey
how can i teach them of love and of heartbreak
…when i wonder
how do i feel about it all?

By Andi
January 19, 2013

Photos: a walk on a snowy path near me; my gazebo