1 John 3:20b
This week I’ve had difficulty focusing on scripture. My mind has been a whirlwind of thought with a touch of anxiety. I read the Bible but nothing makes sense as I drift from verse to verse. It’s like looking into a bowl of alphabet soup (do they even make that anymore?) and the letters float around independently of one another. No rhyme or reason. Just floating aimlessly. But still I tried to force myself to concentrate which caused only more frustration and anxiety. I would get angry at myself for not being able to concentrate. And then I began to doubt my own Christianity. (Another power walks this earth. Don’t give in to doubt.)
This happened on Friday morning for the umpteenth time this week. I finally just closed my Bible and shut my eyes. I felt the early morning breeze on my face and in my hair. I heard the sounds of crickets. A lot of them. I opened my eyes and saw the lovely morning in front of me. I have tall ash trees in my front yard. Most are dead now, but they are still home to the woodpeckers and squirrels. This view is my favorite view from my front porch swing. The breeze blew through the tree and moved each leaf independently. In the early morning sun, the whole tree looked as though it was twinkling.
Next to it, a couple of woodpeckers sat at the very top of the dead ash tree. One of them would hammer away at that old tree for its breakfast in-between their very loud conversation. Woodpeckers are quite noisy. There were no human sounds. No cars, planes, trains, or mowers. Unusual. Only nature sounds. And I thought to myself that maybe this was all I needed to fill my spiritual needs at that moment. The books, chapters, and verses weren’t coming together, but my senses were filled with God’s glorious creation. And it was soothing to my soul.
1 John 3:20b
God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.
God knows every single thing that is happening in our country and in our world. The good and the bad. He knows the truths and the lies. The beautiful and the ugly. He knows what is going on in my own life and all that weighs heavy on my heart. He knows all the reasons why I cannot concentrate. I believe that is the reason I closed my Bible and shut my eyes. I needed a little timeout. When I opened my eyes I was in a different place spiritually and that was more helpful to me than fumbling through scripture making sense of absolutely nothing. He knows what we need and when we need it. I needed something simple to calm my mind. Simple can still be very spiritual. I was grateful for this moment. It was a gift from God.
Be thankful that God is greater than our heart, and knows everything. ♥️
Photos: the view of my trees and of a woodpecker, August 17, 2020 (not taken on that particular Friday morning)