Four years ago, was my first Mother’s Day without my mom. I still cannot believe she’s gone. Such a longing I still have for her. I guess the heart doesn’t consider age when it comes to the love between a daughter and her mother. It remains the same.
May 7, 2016
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.
My first without my mom.
Can’t say this is easy because it’s not. So many memories we shared, but even more memories that weren’t made because we’ve lived a great distance apart. This is one of my deepest pains in life. We were connected by phone. That was our lifeline. And while we were very close there are many things I wish I knew about my mom.
I have a hundred questions circling my mind. Answers I really should know, but I don’t. You always think there’s plenty of time. But honestly…there just isn’t. If your mom is not with you this Mother’s Day, I understand. I understand your heartache and your emptiness. But if she is here…ask her tomorrow what her favorite flower is or if she prefers sunsets to sunrises. I don’t know these things and I wish I did. And I have so many more questions I’d like to ask her.
But I do know this…my mom loved me and its a blessing that I can still hear her say my name. I remember the softness of her skin and the way she smelled. And the way her laugh lit up the room. My siblings and I, and anyone else present, would join her and we’d tearfully laugh until our stomachs and faces hurt. Nothing in this life was more in important to her than my brother, sister, and me. Of that, I am sure.
My mother loved to drink coffee. Tomorrow, I plan to drink a cup (or two) in her honor. I love and miss her greatly.
This Mother’s Day cherish your mom, whether in person or in spirit. And if she is here, ask what her favorite flower is.
Always be grateful. ♥️
Happy Mother’s Day!
Photos: 1st-Mom with us kids at the beginning of the Mississippi River, mid 60’s; 2nd-Mom and I at her home in Fredericksburg, MD, mid ‘80’s, as you can tell by my hair; 3rd-my family, Ft. Wayne, IN, late 70’s; 4th-6th-one of the most memorable laughs, ever! It was a fun night after my oldest’s wedding; 7th-mom and I on her 70th birthday in Raleigh, NC; 8th-My beautiful mom on her 70th birthday. She passed away at the young age of 74.