Expectation Without Communication

St. Joe, Michigan
September 21, 2010

Communication is the key to every single relationship. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that statement.

When we begin a new relationship, a relationship that absolutely clicks, we cannot talk enough to each other. We share our histories, our likes and dislikes, our beliefs on every topic ranging from religion, to child rearing, to diets, to hobbies, and politics, etc. We share our dreams and goals too. EVERYTHING. We can’t seem to find enough time to share enough. That’s a good relationship. Whether this is a BFF relationship, or a prospective marriage partner, we rejoice in the closeness we found in this person.

Relationships also include people who come into our lives like coworkers, neighbors, church members, or those who marry into the family. Communication is still just as important. Maybe it’s not as intimate as others, but it still requires the sharing of ideas and information in order to get along in the best way possible. So while things are good, we talk. We determine boundaries and expectations. And life is pretty awesome.

Sometimes, though, things start to cool off for one reason or another. Communication is the first to go when actually this is the time we should be talking all the more. Relationships break down. Marriages fall apart. Best friends back off. Not always, and certainly not with every relationship. But many do. I think when we put all of our faith into people to do and say everything perfectly, we are let down…and, of course, we fail others as well. Relationships need to be nurtured, fed, and cared for. After awhile, we tend to neglect and forget. We begin to see faults instead of all the things we loved about that individual. I can’t begin to explain all the scenarios of why, or the how comes. All I can say is that we are human. We are not perfect. And often times we are selfish. Sometimes the changes in communication are so gradual, we hardly notice until we find ourselves in a really bad place.

The problem is that when a relationship is in a downward swing, our expectations are still at the same high level that was set when everything was going great. Inevitably, when communication slows down or stops, those expectations become thorns in our side when they are not met. We get angry, and actually expect more and more for some reason…without communicating. It makes no sense really, but I’ve seen this many times. We don’t talk. We just expect the other to know, and to do, accordingly. “They should know what I’m thinking” type of attitude. We also have a tendency to become extremely hypersensitive to anything said, and especially to what’s left unsaid. That certainly doesn’t make matters any better. And so discord abounds.

EXPECTATION WITHOUT COMMUNICATION IS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION. People always get hurt and often the damage is not repairable. We need to be mindful of others all the time. It’s not always about us. In fact, it’s less about us and more about others. Consider that a person will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. And even though offenses can be forgiven, emotions tied to them will most likely never be forgotten. Life is stressful enough without constant breakdowns in communication when it certainly can be prevented. Especially in those relationships that need to function in a healthy manner because they are long term.

So what am I suggesting here? I am suggesting that we pay close attention to our relationships and how we communicate with each other. I don’t believe that every issue needs to be considered critical or battle-worthy. Be kind and considerate. Do all things with humility and in love. Nurture relationships. Not every marriage has to end in divorce, or your best friend kicked to the curb. We should be doing a whole lot more of mending fences. Talk to each other! Life is short.

Thanks, friend, for stopping by today. I am very happy that you did.

Coffee (and conversation) with friends is pretty sweet.💕


PS I know my picture isn’t the best quality, but I saw it as a perfect representation of our communication with each other. Hopefully, we can sail together instead of drifting apart.

2 thoughts on “Expectation Without Communication

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