Where is God?

Work was hard on Monday. Really hard. And when I got home…well, you know…I was sad and homesick. I wrote about it here: https://coffeewithandi.com/2023/03/20/homesick/

I felt very alone that night. I had no one to talk to and I wondered where God was. He seemed quiet…and distant. I wanted answers to the recent questions I’ve been asking about my life, my job, my purpose. And my very real loneliness.

I got into bed with my Bible. The big black Bible with my name embossed in gold on the front cover. It is a large print edition designed especially for tired, 61 year old eyes.

Sometimes I will open my Bible and read the scripture on the pages that fall open in front of me. Many times they inspire me and actually help with the situation at hand. This time it didn’t happen much to my dismay.

How am I supposed to hear You when I can’t even find You?

As I continued thumbing through that big book, I felt completely lost.

Then I ran across a little white index card tucked inside my Bible. And on that card was a list of verses that my youngest daughter had written out many years ago with a message: “I think you should look at these verses”. And a little, “I love you, Mommy” with a smiley face. I thought I’d give those verses a try.

The first verse was Matthew 18:26, which reads: So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’

Hmmmmm…..not sure why she wanted me to read that one.

So I continued.

Luke 8:15
As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

Then, Romans 12:12
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Ahhhh…patience, the common theme.

I read the rest of the verses and patience came up a few more times, and the word hope, twice.

I concentrated on patience as I went to sleep. The next morning, my son and I talked over coffee. He also steered me in the direction of patience. He gave me some good godly insight about the situation with my job as well.

I showed the index card to my daughter and asked if she remembered writing it for me. She said I was upset with her school work so she used the concordance to look up verses that had the word patience in it and wrote a few down. Gotta love her.

As I moved through the day, things that had been upside down in my life (or so I thought), began to right themselves. Sometimes we get so beaten down that everything seems off. And maybe everything is slightly off kilter, but perhaps not as devastatingly as they seem at the moment. My issues aren’t solved, but I will be more patient as God leads, and I listen.

God is here and ever-present. He’s not MIA, and He certainly doesn’t play games with our heart. Clearly, He speaks to us in creative ways. This time He used my children as vessels of communication. We just have to listen. And be patient. ♥️

Andi