Work was exceptionally tough today. I’m afraid I’ll have to search for another if things don’t turn around very quickly. Yet, I have no where to go. I seem to have this knack or special superpower for finding (and accepting) jobs that are internally messed up. And I’ve only been here since December 1st. Please do not tell me things to sweeten the deal so I accept the job. I’m so trusting…and gullible. I believe everything. I want to trust everyone.

If it seems to be too good to be true….

I came home, went into my room, cozied up into my recliner, wrapped myself in a blanket, and turned on tubi. And of course, I’m drawn to the classics. I turned on That Girl. I remember the introduction. The scenes. All of it. I love the clothes and the hairstyles. It reminds me of home.

I am homesick.

I want to go back home to my parents and siblings. Even with all the hard parts. I want to watch That Girl on our old television set. I want to smell the spaghetti sauce that Mom has been cooking on the stove since morning. I want to hear my dad call me Andrena for fun. I want my younger brother to irritate me, and to play pretend with my sister. I want to go home.

I’m really tired. I’m tired of trying so hard to make things work. To make my life work.

I share everything with you, good or bad. I admit I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I do try to be uplifting and inspiring most of the time. And maybe make you smile once in awhile. Tonight, it’s not in me. You might as well see this side of me too. Then you can see I am very much human.

Maybe for good measure, I should insert a couple of verses here:

Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.



3 thoughts on “Homesick

  1. I love you and that you can share this stuff with us too! I remember That Girl, on a black and white tv that you had to get up out of your chair and go across the room to turn the channel or turn up the volume! (Sorry, didn’t mean to scare any of you younger readers!) My word for the year is home. I have a little journal that I am writing every single Bible verse I come across that relates to home. I am settling into the fact that Jesus is our home while we are here, and then we will be at home with Him for eternity. I actually had a really vivid dream about home that I post in Aug 2021. Here’s the link. I look at this post often to remind myself of my real home.

    Vivid dream

    Liked by 1 person

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