Originally posted on July 30, 2021. Edited and updated.
We have all sorts of well-meaning people telling us how to walk through our life and critiquing how we walked years ago. How does that even make sense? You should have…should never be included in conversation.
I know people have the best of intentions most of the time, but it isn’t fair to critique someone’s walk in life. Not unless you’ve actually walked in their shoes. And if you haven’t, then leave their shoelaces alone.
Example…I have married women tell me that I don’t need a man in my life. I don’t need a man to make me happy (which I do not) and that I need to enjoy my independence and my freedom (which I do). Then they tack on a little…you are so lucky.
Well, my first thought is this…I’m 61 years old. I have been married for 31 of those. I kinda think I know what marriage is about. So please don’t treat me like I haven’t a clue.
Please don’t try to tie my shoes.
My second thought is…I really feel sorry for you…that you view my singleness as luck and that you admire me for being alone. It speaks volumes about you and your mindset about your own marriage.
I walked a lot of miles in those marriage shoes. Even though my two marriages failed, I still believe in it. Why? For many reasons, but first and foremost, it is God’s design. And He designed it for a reason.
Regardless of what your story is, you’ve walked miles in your own shoes. You’ve experienced things I never have. We see life from different angles. I’ve experienced things that would probably make your jaw drop and it’s been suggested many times that I write a book about my life. Well…if I did that, many names would have to be changed. And then I’d have to cut my hair and move to some place like Slickpoo, Two Egg, Burnt Porcupine, Mudd Butte, Knockemstiff, Smackover, Bumpass, or Ding Dong, USA.
But because of our own personal experiences, we have learned and grown in our own way. We managed to survive. It is our journey. Our views of life vary because of it. Our hearts beat to different drums. Someone else may have experienced a similar walk. Yet, we are still very different.
So when someone tells you where to jump and how high…kindly say:
Please don’t even try to tie my shoes.
But I’m not suggesting that with our different views in life should there be division among us. No, quite the contrary. We should have an even greater need and compassion for one another. If anything, our walks have shown us the fragility of life. Every single day is sacred. And it’s to be shared with one another.
Please don’t try to tie someone else’s shoes.
There’s a difference between being critical and condescending, and treating someone with compassion, love, and understanding.
Thanks for having coffee with me today. May your Tuesday be amazing. Be grateful always. I am certainly grateful for my Tamarindo Pathfinder slip-ons. No shoelaces. ♥️
And, yes…those are actual towns in the US. 🙂