Depressed or Depression?

Depression is a very real thing. It’s something that is hard to see or understand. It often runs deep and dark. It can be disguised by laughter or hidden by an outward appearance of happiness. Listening to what someone is not saying is probably key to recognizing depression.

I do not live in that darkness although I think some have wondered about me. What I am is a person who thinks deeply and feels everything intensely. I carry the woes of this earth on my shoulders and in my heart. I am a healer of sorts without the ability to heal everything. I am often unable to fix things in my own life so I feel trapped. Caged. I may have moments or days where I feel depressed but my life is not grounded in depression.

My life is quiet, subdued. Boring, actually. But my mind is not. My mind is adventurous. It is daring, challenging, motivating. It is always questioning and forever dreaming. It’s filled with what if’s and possibility. It is also stifling, fearful, and conflicting. Maybe this is due to being a Gemini and the twins rarely, if ever, agree on anything.

Being deep in thought is serious business to me. I might be thinking of a situation I could have handled better. Or maybe how I need to handle a current situation. I could be taking mental notes of something I need to write about. That happens more often than not. I get quiet. My face and jaw are often tense. I tune people out sometimes. Not intentionally though. I’m just buried in thought not depression.

There is a difference in depression and being depressed. We all get down at times. Life isn’t fair. We feel cheated and often we are. Loved ones are taken from us. Someone else gets the promotion we were counting on. Friends leave on a misunderstanding. A divorce that caught us off guard. Gas is 5 cents cheaper two miles down the road than where we just filled our tank. Life is not fair. And sometimes we feel buried beneath all the unfairness. It’s why we need Jesus who gives us hope of a better place. A place of fairness. Heaven.

Listen intently to those closest to you. Listen with your heart because not everything is audible to your ears. Being depressed fluctuates with the ebb and flows of life. Depression is deeper and much harder to recognize. We are simply passing through this life to something better if we cling to Jesus as our Savior. We need to lean on His promise, and onto each other. ♥️

Andi