A March Morning

Sunday, March 6, to be exact.

I can never sleep in. I laid in bed for over an hour wishing myself back to sleep. It just doesn’t happen. So I got out of bed before 7:00 and let Nyx out while I made coffee.

I noticed the night storm tossed my trash can into the road. The beat up trash can that my trash company was to replace a couple weeks ago. I suppose their company is no different than anyone else’s…can’t get, or keep, help. So I’m trying to be patient.

I slipped on our old beater crocs (Mattea and I share them) and went out with Nyx to retrieve the trash can. It rained last night so the smell of the country air was amazingly fresh. The temp was a balmy 62. The warmest morning of the year so far. The young woman in me stirred with excitement of a spring quickly approaching, and of her many dreams…

I set the trash can upside down at the end of my driveway. Maybe this will be the week they replace it. Nyx was happy to have me to herself and outside. I decided it was too nice to go in just yet, so I sat on my porch swing. And she laid down beside me.

I watched the lower grey clouds move swiftly to the east revealing lighter shades of clouds above them. I heard birds. Lots of them. All of them singing their love songs. There was one lonely morning dove though who spoke to my heart. Change is in the air.

I love my front porch. I miss my trees though because along with them went my family of woodpeckers. They were fun to watch and listen to. One seemed to always scold the other. I assumed it was the misses who would go on the daily rants.

Nyx got up and walked around. The moment was uncomfortably strange to me. Who is this new dog standing in my almost treeless yard? Where is my beloved Herc and our beautiful Amber? Where are my trees? I had walked past a fire pit that is rarely lit and through a yard that yearns for frisbee throwing and the laughter of my children. Strange how all of these are just memories now.

The young woman in me dreams of wonderfully exciting things…but sadly, outside of her reality. I guess that’s okay in a way as dreaming keeps you young. But the older woman is going to have to step in and tweak a few things.

Change is in this March morning air. It makes me sad to know that another era is swiftly coming to a close. It was a short era of eight years. I finally admit that this place is more than I can handle and I’m finally waving the white flag. I need to get on the serious path of letting this place go and figure out my next move. This is a scary and sad time for me. I’m so torn. Maybe once I get through the hard part of decision making, I can begin a new era of making new memories filled with happiness. Change is in the air.

It’s a melancholy March morning. But it’ll be alright. I’ll be alright. This is how the wind blows in life. Always changing speed and direction. Nothing stands still for long.

It’s time for a second cup of coffee and some much needed time with God. I did lean on the Helper more this past week. And He was a great help to me. I will lean on Him evermore as I walk into unknown territory.

Have a blessed new week, my friends. ♥️

Andi

Photo: a Jamaican sunset, 2016