Death Makes Life Real

I’ve lost many people throughout my life. High school friends, a boyfriend, my parents, two best friends, an ex fiancée…people all whom I loved very much.   

Reality is this…I’m getting older and with my parents both gone, I’m now at the top of the chain. 

This isn’t a sad affair, nor is it meant to be morbid. It’s just not in us to talk about death. We may think about it but it’s not a real concern because to us death is in the very distant future. But death is reality. And I want to be prepared. 

I am an organized person. I love organizing, just ask D. So it’s no surprise that I am thinking ahead in making arrangements for my departure…of which I hope isn’t for many more years. But no one ever knows. My ultimate goal is to make this transition as smooth as possible for my children and D. 

I think about my mom and my dear Chelle. I think about all the changes that have taken place in their families since they’ve been gone. Chelle and I were going to be grandmas at the same time. We both had been waiting long years for this happy event to occur. She now has two grandchildren and I have six. Only she has never held her’s.

So as I work towards getting all of my ducks in a row, I am discovering a better appreciation for all the little things in life and of the things that matter most. I miss my loved ones so much, but through the missing I appreciate more of what is here. It’s quite beautiful actually. 

Death tends to make life more real to me. Time here is sacred.

Once I get all the details taken care of I will be able to move through the rest of my life without reservation. I look at this as a blessing and very freeing indeed.

♥️

Andi