Huh? 

What?

I’m sorry…what did you say?

Um…huh?

Mom. 

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

Andi. 

ANDREA!!

Am I going deaf or do I just tune people out like I did when I had six children living under my roof?

Sometimes the words I hear are very muffled. But do I give my full attention to those in conversation? I know I have an issue with figuring out my thoughts and what to say next. My mind also flits from one topic to the next very rapidly. I am easily distracted too. D can vouch for that. One morning we were sitting at the kitchen table and he was talking with me about something of importance, but I was more interested in a squirrel out in the yard. 

So…am losing my hearing, or am I just not a good listener? 

I discovered the answer to my question yesterday. 

I had my hearing tested. I have hearing loss. I was pretty surprised at my test results.

Okay, well, I can deal with this. It’s actually good to know. Instead of thinking others are not talking loud enough or clearly, it is me. I see that now. 

Did I listen to my music too loud over the years? I remember standing pretty darn close to speakers at a KISS concert in my teens. But I always left concerts with my ears feeling muffled accompanied with ringing for a long while afterwards.

I wonder if the damage was further caused by the pyrotechnics I was around for several years. You know, fireworks. We had our own company for a few years and we did large fireworks displays for many cities and events. I tried to use ear protection most of the time, but we were still exposed to a lot of very loud explosions. Maybe it was a combination and not just one cause. 

But I also feel that I do unintentionally tune people out with all the other thoughts that are running rampant through my head. And believe me…there are many. (It’s a scary place in there.)

My mom had a great amount of hearing loss but she refused to get hearing aids. I suppose it was because she wore her hair short and didn’t want them to be seen. The hearing aids today are remarkably smaller and lighter. She maybe would have gotten them in this day and age.

I do have significant hearing loss and hearing aids have been ordered. I feel too young for this at 63, but I’m not embarrassed. My hair covers them. hee-hee

No, really…I want to hear everything my kids and grandkids have to share with me. I want to have good conversations with my husband without so many misunderstandings. 

But…I’m not sure there’s a cure for my distraction problem or for tuning people out when my head is on overload. Which is always. It’s never intentional and I’m not trying to be rude so I will have to work on these things. 

Maybe huh and what will be used less frequently now. That will be nice. Sometimes that alone is exhausting. 

It’s not the end of the world. Maybe it’s just an another new beginning.

♥️

Andi