Stacked Wood

I have loved the idea of a simple life since the beginning of my time. But I have searched for it all my life. Life just never seems so simple. When asked what I wanted out of life, I would always respond with two things: 1) a simple life, and 2) a close family. Those were my only wishes. 

Life was hard long before the divorce. But it’s been very difficult out on my own for the past eleven-plus years. My kids and I were trying to find our ways in life. Me as a single woman with kids. And the kids were trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted to do with their life. We all had much healing to do as well. 

As the kids grew into young adults their differences separated the bonds of their youth to a certain degree. We experienced rough patches within our relationships. But love is much stronger than our most difficult trials and our different opinions of life itself. Love prevailed. It held us together even during the periodic silences. Recently I married and D brought with him a most amazing family. They are woven together tightly and beautifully. Like a colorful braided rug, hand-tied with care and love. And they have welcomed me most lovingly. 

I have my close family. ✔️

As far as simplicity is concerned, that’s been more difficult to obtain. Was it to my own doing, because nothing seemed simple. Every detail of my life was difficult. I lived in survival mode. I worried way too much. I see that now. I felt everything had to be in complete order for peace to be found. And I could never reach that completeness to satisfy. I never had all my ducks in row. My life was more like herding cats instead of lining up ducks. 

I have this nasty curse of overthinking even the smallest of thoughts. I once bought a self-help book called “Women Who Think Too Much” by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema. I thought about reading it but I guess I overthought it instead so I never did. 

But what did simplicity look like to me? I had no idea but I just knew I didn’t have it. In the past, I found that I could sneak in simple moments. Those moments were found in nature away from the hustle and bustle and conversation of people. And that would make do for a bit. There, my problems and difficulties seemed to vanish for those moments. A taste of simplicity.

Today, my world is in a much better place. I’m learning a lot about myself from D, my husband. D is gentle in his thoughts and his heart is so kind. I see more clearly the obstacles I actually created for myself throughout my life. I made my life so much harder than it needed to be.

Granted, my life was difficult. And not just because I made it so. When others are involved, well…you simply have no control over them and that makes it most difficult. 

But today, I see simplicity with a clearer mind. Simplicity, like happiness, begins in the mind. It’s a state of being. I can choose simplicity over complexity by keeping things in perspective. Not overthinking. Not overdoing. Not worrying (so much). I could have chosen simplicity over the drama in my life. Every issue that seemed devastating really wasn’t. And most of those issues I do not recall to this day. I made life harder for myself, my kids, and those around me. And for that I am truly sorry.

While the concept of simplicity begins in the mind, it also encompasses what you make of your surroundings. Whether you live on the fifth floor in an apartment complex and care for your potted plants on a sunny windowsill, or live on a 100 acre farm where you work the soil and care for animals, simplicity can be found and/or created. Everyone’s idea of simplicity would vary of course. What is it that makes your life feel simpler and lighter?

A couple of days ago I walked out to my cabin, and what did I see? I saw stacked wood behind my cabin. My heart leaped for joy! Why? Because stacked wood is a sign of simplicity to me. It means there will be a warm fire by the pond shared with loved ones…away from the stress of the world and days long gone that still find a way to hover over me like Pooh Bear’s little black rain cloud. 

I don’t think anyone has ever been as excited as me to see stacked wood. 

I thank God for this man I call D. He has given me a clearer understanding to the innermost workings of me. He has gifted me with a beautiful place to call home, along with retirement. And now he’s given me a cabin with neatly stacked wood along the trees at the edge of the pond. 

Simplicity at its very finest. ✔️

♥️

Andi