Grief

Grief is one of the hardest things in this life to grasp and understand. Realistically, it is a part of life. Anyone with a heart cannot escape it. Grief cuts us to the core. It disrupts our entire life on a daily basis. And it appears to be never-ending.

Everyone handles grief differently, but the similarities can draw us together for comfort.

Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it could take longer or shorter. I do know it never disappears. An ember still smolders inside me. Most days, I don’t notice it, but, out of the blue, it’ll flare to life. ~ Maria V. Snyder

I am no stranger to grief or the grieving process. Before I can recoup from one experience, I am forced to accept another.

Stop punishing yourself for being someone with a heart. You cannot protect yourself from suffering. To live is to grieve. You are not protecting yourself by shutting yourself off from the world. You are limiting yourself. ~ Leigh Bardugo

My sweet mother died at the age of 74. That’s only eleven years from where I am now. Way too young. One year later, my best friend of 30+ years died suddenly at age 54. My dad passed away almost three years ago. Matt died seven months ago. There have been others too tucked in-between those years. Grief is tough. And it seems so unfair.

There are many directions I could have gone with this post about grief. I could go straight to scripture and talk about Jesus and how he grieved over the death of Lazarus. He knew the fragility of life and he felt grief every bit as we do. But this morning I chose to lookup quotes on grief. Here are a few that spoke to me.

But sometimes, unexpectedly, grief pounded over me in waves that left me gasping; and when the waves washed back, I found myself looking out over a brackish wreck which was illumined in a light so lucid, so heartsick and empty, that I could hardly remember that the world had ever been anything but dead. ~ Donna Tartt

Have you ever thought you might be finally coming around when all of a sudden you see a gorgeous sunset, a cherished photo, hear a special song, or get a whiff of a familiar smell, and it almost drops you to your knees with a stabbing ache to your heart? You feel as though you cannot possibly take another breath. All of a sudden you are in the past, reliving that very moment of death all over again. I have experienced this again and again.

So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love. ~ E.A. Bucchianeri

This is so true! And it even pertains to a beloved pet. When we love, we eventually grieve. Sadly, it is the price we pay.

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to. ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

I have learned something of great value from each person who has passed. I cling to these beautiful lessons. I grow and I become a better person. I will never, ever be the same, and actually, I am glad for that.

…the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you. Some people might find that strange. But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person, is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them. ~ Ranata Suzuki

TRUTH.

You cannot die of grief, though it feels as if you can. A heart does not actually break, though sometimes your chest aches as if it is breaking. Grief dims with time. It is the way of things. There comes a day when you smile again, and you feel like a traitor. How dare I feel happy. How dare I be glad in a world where my father is no more. And then you cry fresh tears, because you do not miss him as much as you once did, and giving up your grief is another kind of death. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

Grief hurts. There’s no getting around it.

Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream. ~ Euripides

Oh, how I’ve wished this!

There once was a girl who found herself dead. She peered over the ledge of heaven and saw that back on earth her sister missed her too much, was way too sad, so she crossed some paths that would not have crossed, took some moments in her hand, shook them up and spilled them like dice over the living world.

It worked.

The boy with the guitar collided with her sister.

“There you go, Len,” she whispered. “The rest is up to you.”

~ Jandy Nelson

I can certainly relate to that above story. God sent someone to me to soothe my brokenness. And I do the same for him. This is a gift from God that I will not turn my back on or refuse to accept.

So this is how I choose to deal with grief…just as written in the poem below. There is such a connection between my heart and nature. I find my greatest peace there.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave bereft

I am not there. I have not left.

~ Mary Elizabeth Frye

♥️

Andi

Photos: Last night as I was driving to pick my daughter up from work, I pulled over to watch this sunset. I am drawn to sunsets and their uniquenesses. This one was beyond breathtaking and my photos do not do it justice.