i wonder

i walk down a wintery path

in silence i reflect

on the many lives i’ve lived

and of the many hats i’ve worn

…and i wonder

how do i feel about it all?

i look upward into a snowy sky

i enjoy the touch of snowflakes upon my lashes and upon my cheek

and for that moment, i am a little girl of nine

when my dreams of a storybook love first began

…and i wonder

how do i feel about it all?

my head spins as i travel

through the many years

of happy moments

and of the saddest of times

of now realizing the true meaning of lonely

and of knowing the true meaning of love.

sitting in my gazebo, i listen to the silence of the snow

which is broken only by a heavy beat of a scarred heart

and a breath that freezes from my lips

and i realize the fragility of the human spirit

and how that sometimes (many times)

life just isn’t fair.

i walk the wintery path toward home

and i’m met by my delightful offspring

who’ve only just begun their earthly journey

how can i teach them of love and of heartbreak

…when i wonder

how do i feel about it all?

I once wrote a lot of poetry. Many of which, I did not keep…much to my dismay. My poetry was a journal of sorts. I wrote this poem on January 19, 2013. It is a favorite of mine because I recall vividly my feelings of that day and time in my life. And I miss the times my young children would run to greet me, whether I was returning from the store or from a snowy walk in the woods. Time doesn’t stand still but writing a post in this blog, or a heartfelt poem, brings back to me a piece of yesterday.

♥️

Andi

Photos: my once-upon-a-time gazebo where I wrote much of this poem