Sometimes It Starts With A Picture

I haven’t written much lately. With all that has transpired over the last couple of weeks, my head is spinning. I lack sleep. I’m not eating in the manner which keeps me healthy. I’ve been troubled, worried, tired, sad, and broken. I did post a couple of times but, for the most part, I can’t pull my thoughts together.

On Friday, I drove three hours to the little town where I graduated high school to attend the Celebration of Life for Matt. I stayed with his sister in the house where they grew up along the river.

The Celebration of Life was moving. It was absolutely beautiful. Everything spoken mirrored perfectly the man who Matt was. Matt was genuine. He was sincere. He knew his purpose in life with an understanding that everything he did was on borrowed time. Everything he had was God’s. He was only a caretaker. All of this put his life in godly perspective. And God trusted him with it all.

I visited the rest of the weekend with his family and my friends. My last visit before I left for home was with his son, daughter-in-law, and his precious grandson.

We had a good visit together. Shortly, before I left, his daughter-in-law asked if I was more inspired to write because of all the things going on in my life currently. I said no, it’s just too hard to write.

We said our goodbyes and I asked if I could run down to their dad’s place. They said yes. I am grateful because, you see…their dad’s place is a very magical place.

As I drove, I thought about her question some more. I actually felt broke and I wondered when I’d ever feel like writing again.

When I got to Matt’s home I sighed a big sigh. Matt would never return to his beautiful homestead, and I felt a great heaviness in my chest. Tears welded up…again.

I drove down into the wooded area that led to the creek. I got out of the car and watched happy tubers drift downstream. I took a couple of deep breaths and smelled the woodsy dampness. I walked down a path to the beach area. Sugar Beach is what Matt fondly called this place. I found souvenirs of shells, tiny rocks, and driftwood to take home and put into a little treasure box.

Then I thought about Matt. A lot has happened in the last two weeks alone. It’s hard to believe he’s been gone for a week and a day already. I am just so sad. I miss him so much.

I looked at pictures I have of him on my phone. I thought of conversations we recently had. Then I looked up from my phone and straight ahead. The view was a beautiful. I took a picture. I found some peace and my inspiration there on Sugar Beach.

Sometimes it starts with a picture.

This was Matt’s happy place. But not only that. He created a happy place for all who come across it. He always told me that he didn’t own this beautiful property. That it belonged to God and he was only caring for it. So Matt welcomed anyone to find their peace at Sugar Beach.

Our hearts hurt so much right now. And my guess is that the next several days and weeks will be even more difficult as we will have more time to think and process all that’s happened. We will actually begin to feel the magnitude of his loss in our lives.

I often get my inspiration to write from the pictures I take. That’s why I take so many. As I thumb through them I hope something will stand out for me. Today, it is Matt and his magical Sugar Beach. ♥️💔

Andi