Expectation Without Communication

Communication is the key to every single relationship. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that statement.

When we begin a new relationship, a relationship that absolutely clicks, we cannot talk enough to each other. We share our histories, our likes and dislikes, our beliefs on every topic ranging from religion, to child rearing, to diets, to hobbies, to politics, etc. We share our dreams and goals too. EVERYTHING. We can’t seem to find enough time to share enough. That’s a good relationship. Whether this is a BFF relationship, or a prospective marriage partner, we rejoice in the closeness we found in this person.

Relationships also include people in our life like coworkers, neighbors, church members, or those who marry into the family. Communication is still just as important. Maybe it’s not as intimate as other relationships, but it still requires the sharing of ideas and information in order to get along in the best way possible. So while things are good, we talk. We determine boundaries and expectations. And life is pretty awesome.

Sometimes, though, things start to cool off for one reason or another. Communication is the first to go when, actually, this is the time we should be talking all the more. Relationships break down. Marriages fall apart. Best friends back off. Not always, and certainly not in every relationship. But many do.

The problem is that when a relationship is in a downward swing, our expectations are still at the same peak level as when everything was going great. Inevitably, when communication slows down or stops, those expectations become thorns in our side when they are not met. We get angry, and actually expect more and more for some reason…all without communicating. It makes no sense really but I’ve seen this many times. We don’t talk. We just expect the other to know, and to do, accordingly. We assume…they should know what I’m thinking. We also have a tendency to become extremely hypersensitive to anything said, and especially to what’s left unsaid. That certainly doesn’t make matters any better. And so discord abounds.

I think when we put all of our faith that people will do and say everything perfectly, we are let down…and, of course, we fail others as well. Relationships need to be nurtured, fed, and cared for. After awhile we tend to neglect and forget. We begin to see faults instead of all the things we loved about that individual. I can’t begin to explain all the scenarios of why or the how comes. All I can say is that we are human. We are not perfect. And often times we are selfish. Sometimes the changes in communication are so gradual we hardly notice until we find ourselves in a really bad place.

EXPECTATION WITHOUT COMMUNICATION IS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION.

People always get hurt and too often the damage is not repairable. We need to be mindful of others. It’s not always about us either. In fact, it’s less about our own self and more about others. Consider that a person will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. And even though offenses can be forgiven, the emotion tied to them will most likely never be forgotten. Life is stressful enough without constant breakdowns in communication when it certainly can be prevented. Especially in those relationships that need to function in a healthy manner because they are long term.

So what am I suggesting here? I am suggesting that we pay close attention to our relationships and how we communicate with each other. I don’t believe that every issue that arises needs to be considered critical or is battle-worthy though.

Be kind and considerate. Do all things with humility and in love. Nurture relationships. Not every marriage has to end in divorce, or your best friend kicked to the curb. We should be doing a whole lot more of mending fences. Talk to each other! ♥️

Andi

Photos: quotesgram.com; Denae and me