So Much

There’s so much on my mind and someone is heavy on my heart. I’m distracted. Indecisive. Worried. Feeling helpless. I find myself doing stupid stuff. I am forgetting things I never forget. I say the wrong things. I use wrong words! I even used a stapler incorrectly. A stapler! Not once. Not twice. But three times! I laughed uncontrollably once I realized. The woman working with me said she wanted whatever I had for breakfast.

I think my coping mechanism is broke.

I’m glad tonight is Friday. I planned a creative home project for tomorrow to keep my mind occupied. Well, it is already occupied. That just can’t be avoided. But maybe being creative will be a sort of relief. I would really like to get away but realistically, this brain of mine goes wherever I go. So there’s that.

Tonight I went to First Friday. Our little city has this event all through the summer. There are typically two bands playing in different areas of the square. There are venders, food, booze, and even a huge bouncy wall climb for the kids. But I felt out of place walking around by myself. Lonely in a crowd. I’m just so out of sorts. So I left and went to the Blue Store.

There’s just so much, but without God, where would I be? I know how hard it is with God. I can’t even imagine.

I do know that no one is exempt from problems and decisions. But when they are your own they tend to be larger than life.

Psalm 27:7 O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me.

Tomorrow will be better. I’m sure of it. ♥️

Andi

Prayers for my dear friend continue.

Psalm 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.