A Second Chance

On December 28, 2018, I had a hip replacement. This event happened that day as well.

A second chance…

The surgeon stopped by my room while making his rounds for the day. He told me that my hip replacement was much more complicated than he expected because of the severity of the damage so the surgery took longer than what was planned. I was in recovery longer than expected as well.

It seems almost cruel for them to make you get up so soon after surgery. I know there are good reasons for it though. My first time up went as it should. When the physical therapist came a second time to get me up, I informed her that I didn’t feel well. She encouraged me to get up anyway. I told her I did not want to. I did not feel well at all. She said that I had to. I took two steps and told her I really didn’t feel well. She must have believed me this time because she quickly sat me down in a chair. And then there was nothing…I was gone.

My kids were in the cafeteria a couple floors down. My daughter heard them page the Fast Team to my room. They scrambled to get upstairs.

I remember lying on my back in bed. I couldn’t move or talk. I could hear everything around me but could not respond, verbally or physically. My whole body was paralyzed. Was it even mine? I found myself in such a beautiful place of peace, and I was more relaxed than I’d ever been in my life. The warmth I felt was like no other. There was absolutely no pain. It was wonderful. I cannot fully explain it but I will never forget it. That beautiful, glorious place of peace. I wanted to stay there, forever.

I heard voices around me and I could tell there was a woman on each side of me. Although they took turns hitting my chest, I felt no pain. Again and again, they hit me. I heard them repeat “She’s not responding. She’s not responding.” I wanted them to leave me alone and let me go, but they wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t tell them that I did not want to come back. I was warm and safe, and exactly where I wanted to be. Let me go. Quit hitting me. Leave. Me. Alone.

When I finally did come back, my room was packed full of people. Wall to wall people. I could hear them talk about my color, because I had none, and it wasn’t coming back.

Later that evening, a young nurse stopped by my room to check on me. She was in tears. She was still quite shaken after witnessing what had taken place earlier. She said she was so scared. I reassured her that it was okay, that I was okay, and I gave her a hug.

I was told that I had no pulse, but nothing more. The issue was completely avoided except by that one young nurse. No one seemed to want to discuss it. And, honestly, I didn’t push the why and what happened. The experience was very personal to me and, the mystery of it all, quite beautiful. And I cherish it to this day. I didn’t need to know anything more. They didn’t get me up anymore that day and my hospital stay was extended.

A second chance…♥️

Why I had this particular experience, I do not know. But it changed my views on some things. Maybe I’m a blockhead and God needed to shake me up a little. But honestly, I guess I do not have to understand the why. I just need to recognize that I was given a second chance. It wasn’t time for me to go even though I didn’t want to come back. I’m here for a reason but not because I am any more special than anyone else. God is not a respecter of persons. But God deals with each of us accordingly. Just like in parenting. Children respond differently although you love them all the same.

I felt strongly about posting this so I did a couple of years ago. Maybe today someone new needs to hear it, or maybe I need to be reminded. We are such forgetful and neglectful people. We are often given second chances in life. It’s up to us to acknowledge them, accept them, and to use them for good.

the day after my surgery

A second chance? Be wise. Accept it. Welcome it. Embrace it. ♥️


2 thoughts on “A Second Chance

  1. I had a Pastor friend once tell me, that even though God does not cause the troubles and hard times we go through, he turns them for good to those who love him, to be used for His glory to help others. I believe that is what he has done in your life Andi. He has enabled you to help others through the brokeness you have felt. This experience of your peace in His presence was also to give us all hope and reasurance that He is real and is always with us. Bless you for sharing. Never doubt that God is using you!

    Liked by 1 person

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