Protective of Me

I made some big life decisions this year. I couldn’t do this before because I viewed myself as being selfish for even having these thoughts. But if I do not take care of myself, there is no way I can help you. This is not selfishness. It took decades to realize this even though I preached it. But this year, I am accomplishing this feat. I am putting myself first.

The Bible speaks of loving your neighbor as yourself. Self love comes first. How do you love yourself? Do you even love yourself? Do you come first?

I’m an introvert. I do have this desire to be with others at times, but it is typically short-lived. Then I need to be by myself to regroup. I need quiet, alone time to refuel and energize before the next gathering. It took a long time for me to recognize that this is what I need for me to be healthy.

When I worked for insurance for the past two years, I sat in front of three monitors and a phone. It was nonstop people issues. And of course, I had coworkers I associated with as well, and even though I love them dearly, I had to interact with them. I cannot explain to you fully just how that job depleted me and the damage it did to my body, my mind, and my spirit.

When I got home, I would be so drained that I would sit in my car, in the garage (engine off), and try to calm down before entering my home of children and dogs and sometimes grandchildren. There wasn’t enough time in the garage to accomplish that though. I never caught up. I avoided talking to any and all of my kids on the phone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I simply did not have the energy. I was spent. And two years of that cost me big time. My very life was at stake.

So at the end of 2022, after stressing my body even more by eating holiday treats on top of the stress of my job, I ended up face down when I hit rock bottom. That’s about as low as you can get. There was no one here to save me. No knight in shining armor. I realized the only thing I could do was to call on Jesus to pick me up. And He did.

Now my peace comes before all else. I am very protective of me and my needs. Whatever that requires, I do…and regardless if anyone else understands.

I feel better about myself. I feel healthier and stronger. And a little bit wiser too.

Take care of yourself. There is no other you here on this earth. And you are so special. So when the plane of your life is taking a steep nose dive, take that oxygen first so you can help the person next to you. It’s not selfish. ♥️


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