Health

We really don’t truly appreciate our health until we don’t have it. I was taught this lesson twice so far this year.

So during the holidays, the severity of my unhealthy lifestyle hit me hard. We typically never have sweets in this house but that’s not all I need to avoid. And I know this. Call me stressed or depressed, or a little of both, but I could not emotionally handle my health.

I realized this yet sometimes when you are so low, you selfishly do not care. I no longer cared much about what was in my fridge or pantry. I didn’t care if I stopped for fast food sometimes 3 times a week. I didn’t care if I was here in two years. Health takes work and I was spent.

What we eat directly affects our brain. The more unhappy and depressed the gut is, the more unhappy the brain becomes. The more unhappy the brain is, the more we don’t care what goes into our gut. We actually crave what causes depression. It’s a vicious circle with no end…unless you find a way to break through it. I was only to break through it with God’s help. And that is the absolute truth. The gut is sometimes referred to as the second brain. The two are definitely connected.

I fell to the bottom of the barrel on New Year’s Eve. Another night full of food and drinks that my body cannot handle. I was so miserable. Again. Sometimes I wondered if this was some sort of self-torture or self-abuse. Did I hate myself that much? Was I angry with my with my life? I knew with every bite and drink I took that I was feeding my gut things that it cannot handle. No one’s fault but my own. Anyway, I finally reached the point where I wanted to unzip this unhealthy body suit and step out of it. I felt claustrophobic. Trapped. Smothered. Unable to move. Unable to breathe. I needed to get out of that suit before it became a body bag.

I’ve struggled with a very unhealthy gut all my life. I never found the key to fixing it until now. After much prayer, God gave me strength to try again. So after New Years Day, I decided not eat a single thing that irritated my gut. Nothing goes into my mouth that causes even the slightest of irritation. Instantly, I found such relief. My gut is happy. My brain is happy. I’m happy. My body is rejoicing. Has it been hard to walk away from all that is bad for me? No, surprisingly, it has been very easy. I have not messed up or given in, not even a single time, since I made this decision to save myself. And that’s what it boils down to…saving myself. I know what good feels like compared to the bad. I want the good. I want to be here.

I have a long road of healing ahead of me. But I’m good with that. The extreme change of how I felt between December and now has made all the difference in the world. I think clearer. I’m excited for the future. I’m making plans again. I got my life back. And I want to be here in two years. And two years after that. I have good, unselfish reasons to be here. And I thank God.

Then the second round of realty hit me last Thursday. I got really sick. It had all the earmarks of being a typical flu only worse. The headache was the worst. I was blindsided as this hit me so fast and hard. Finally, I started getting better. No fever for two days. No chills or body aches. Standing up though causes shortness of breath so I am watching this carefully. But yesterday I completely lost my sense of smell and taste. Both 100% gone. (This makes me very angry. I have my personal thoughts about this.) Anyway…

I get up and do things and sit when I get winded. I’m diffusing essential oregano oil to help heal my lungs if there is an issue even though I do not have a cough. But today I feel great. Again…I am able compare healthy to unhealthy. I’ve decided I want to be healthy.

Health is a decision. Like anything else in our life it has to be decided upon and action taken. I’m grateful that God has given another second chance to get this right. I can’t serve Him or anyone in such an unhealthy state. Regaining health will allow me to live life more fully with less distraction. I’m so looking forward to the future. I only hope my senses return because this really stinks (if I could smell it).

Whatever you do not change, you choose.

I choose life.

Find your health. Feed both your mind and body good and healthy things. God’s design of the human body beautifully connects these two perfectly for a reason. ♥️

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Andi