The Only One

I was scrubbing my bathroom sink with my long-time friend, Bar Keepers Friend, to get the orange tint off from around the drain. I wondered, Really? Does anyone else have to do this? Am I the only one who has to scrub their sink?

When I was a young girl my mom would wash our hair at the kitchen sink. She’d use the sprayer to get my hair wet and then lather it up with shampoo. I remember how embarrassed I was that my mom did this. Not that my mom was washing my hair, but that no one else washed their hair. I was the only one. I was sure of it.

One day this spring I needed to mow my yard. Between the eight trees that were dropped and those darn moles, my yard is a lumpy, bumpy mess. My mower didn’t cut even. The blades dug into the ground too and once it actually shaved off the grass into a neatly rolled piece of sod. While I’m trying to pull wet, muddy gunk out from under the deck I’m wondering…am I the only one?

Tonight didn’t end well for me at work. Customer service took its toll when I had to hang up on an irate customer. Then on my way home I was almost rear ended by a woman who didn’t see I was stopped at a red light and she slammed on her brakes. She blew her horn at me as if I was the one who did something wrong. I looked to see if I could turn on red. Yep. I looked and it was clear so I turned right. That woman turned too and almost rear ended me again, still blaring her horn. I was embarrassed even though I did nothing wrong. Am I the only one?

To ice this cake of humiliation, just before I made it home, I hit two very large, beautiful butterflies who were flying side by side enjoying a cooler evening. My heart hurt.

My parents died. My Chelle died. I’ve lost so many others whom I loved. I’m still mourning the losses.

Am I the only one?

Am I really the only one who has to do miserable chores, who gets embarrassed, and who suffers?

No. And living with that tunnel vision is a pretty sorrowful way to live.

Everyone cleans their sink and even the toilet. Everyone brushes their teeth and even washes their hair. Everyone has a car that breaks down or a furnace that quits working. Everyone has a loved one who passes away. We have a tendency to think that while we are doing something we do not want to do or going through something painful that everyone else is living the dream. Untouched. Unscathed. And we despise that idea. The idea that others are free.

I wonder if Jesus ever thought, Am I the only one? Probably many times during His ministry here upon the earth. Maybe He felt He was the only one when His disciples slept as He wept for them in prayer.

We all have problems. Some have more, some less, but we all struggle in this life. The only real difference is that my problems are mine and yours are yours. So that which is in your procession can seem bigger than life and make you question, Am I the only one?

Truth is…no, you are not. Nor am I.

Just because we don’t see what goes on in other’s lives, doesn’t mean they are free from the burdens of this life.

Don’t let the thought bury you. I know it’s hard to do at times because I feel this often. It’s hard not to get caught up in self-pity. I have this tendency to feel that life is moving on without me while I scour the rust out of my sink.

Even though we are very different, we are probably more alike than we realize. I hope that if you are feeling despair you realize now that you are not alone. And also that the grass is never greener elsewhere than it is in your own backyard. No one lives quite as carefree as you may think.

I am not the only one.
And neither are you. ♥️

Andi

Photos: all mine 🙂