Holding grudges. Have you ever thought of the ramifications of holding a grudge? Is it really harmless giving someone the silent treatment and ignoring them for a period of time? What’s the point? What do you expect to get from it?
When you think about it…holding a grudge is silent revenge. And it is most certainly not harmless. Silence speaks volumes. It is a dagger to the heart. 💔
Revenge is when you have this strong desire to get back at someone. Holding a grudge is exactly that. Receiving the silent treatment, the squinty stares, and being shamed and/or excluded is painful. And the grudge holder absolutely knows this. That’s why they do this.
An example is my neighbor. He is holding a grudge against me. He is an angry young man who feels quite privileged in this life. I dealt with him a couple of years ago. He moved from the city to the country. He bought chickens, a rabbit, and two dogs. Since we live in a rural area he thought we neighbors would welcome his animals to roam freely through our yards. That was not how we felt. But it was wonderful to him to be living the country dream where everything roams freely. Right?!
His dogs were not taught boundaries as mine were. Mine were even used to going to his place because we were close with the neighbors that lived there prior. But it took only a short time to teach our dogs the boundary was no longer to be crossed.
My new neighbor had two dogs. One was an expensive $15,000 dog. A pretty smart dog too – if only he had a better, more compassionate owner. His dogs would come to my yard and attack my dogs. Numerous times this happened.
His chickens would roam my yard. My dogs would become stupid as they got caught up in the chase and forgot all boundaries. Not fair to my dogs. Their black and white rabbit ran loose too and lived in my yard which drove my dogs insane, as you can only imagine. That cute little bunny dug three trenches under my shed. Not so cute.
I approached this man numerous times to keep his animals home but to no avail. The police and animal control were called out many times. The man was mad at me because his little boy saw the police in the driveway talking to his daddy frequently. Not my fault. But he tried to make it my fault.
Long story short, he hung a dead chicken off my back porch. He told the police he did it. Nothing ever became of it. But he told some fantastical lies to the police. It was a threat to me. That’s how I viewed it. He’s a cruel man and I feel sorry for his wife and little ones.
The animal problem ended for the most part about three years ago after our last meeting with animal control. The girls and I are forgiving and we wave hi to him but he will turn his head away and ignore us. He is holding a grudge.
He knows that by doing so, it inflicts some kind of pain. Even if it’s just a little pain, he finds his revenge and enjoyment in that.
Holding grudges is unhealthy, mentally and physically. It takes a lot of energy to stay focused on meanness. You may think you have the upper hand in the relationship, and maybe you do to an extent. But is it really worth it? Life. Is. Short.
Now after these last couple of years of no communication, my neighbor sent me a mean text last night about my lawn guy crossing the line into his yard. Still holding onto that grudge, I see.
In my opinion this man has not endured enough hardship in his life for him to truly appreciate life and to distinguish what is really important and what is not. I know this. Because I was in that place once.
I might contact the guy who did the land survey a couple of years ago and show this young man that he is actually claiming my yard as his. I’m pretty sure he’s on my property.
Christians should never hold grudges. Either fix the issue or let it go. Knowing you are intentionally hurting someone by holding a grudge is wrong. Holding a grudge is the total opposite love. I have been on both sides of a grudge. It’s not pretty on either end.
Not sure what to do with my neighbor. I will think about this some more. Choose your battles wisely; what is important, and what is not.
Grudges are cruel.
Forgive. Let go. Move on. Love. ♥️
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