The Giant in My Life

For the last month or so, I have been doing daily Bible studies on YouVersion with a friend of mine who lives two states away. This has been blessing in my life.

We finished the last seven day study just as I was getting ready for a journey. An almost 700 mile journey. A journey I didn’t want to make for many reasons. But come to find out, my reasons were full of water literally and as hard as I tried to convince myself not to go, everything and everyone pointed me toward the necessity of making this trip.

Our Bible study leading up to this trip was Choosing Faith Over Fear. The last four days of the study centered around the shepherd boy, David, and a giant Philistine named Goliath.

Twelve year old David had great faith in God and a confidence within himself to conquer what made grown men cower. After all, he had slain both a bear and a lion while caring for his father’s sheep. But he revealed that God had protected him and he gave God the glory.

David didn’t think twice about what needed to be done to take care of this giant for God’s people. Although David couldn’t wear the armor of King Saul for protection, his faith was strong that God would protect him just as with the lion and bear. So David went out to meet this giant.

This lesson encouraged me to discover what the biggest giant is in my life. Now I was faced with this trip. Timing is sometimes everything.

But I fought it.

*I didn’t want to drive 700 miles alone in a world, that to me, is not very kind anymore.

*I didn’t want to spend money on the stupid high gas prices. (My children gave me gas money for the trip on my birthday.)

*I was intimidated by thoughts of stopping at gas stations along the way and being robbed or hurt.

*I was scared of having car trouble along busy interstates. (I upped my AAA.)

*I was already upset with those who were on the other end of those 700 miles.

*I just did not want to do this. At all.

These were a few of my waterlogged excuses not to go. Everything and everyone strongly pointed me to making this trip. Once I realized the support backing this journey, I believed this was God’s will so I conceded and began making plans to face what I thought was my giant. I wanted to know what God was to teach me this week as I now felt this trip had a godly purpose.

I started praying. He knows my fears. He knows me. I prayed that He would show me the lesson in this. What did He want to teach me? I asked God specifically to help me discover what the giant is in my life. Was it the traveling alone part? I want to have the faith in God and confidence in myself to slay whatever the giant(s) in my life. I had a minimum of 11 hours alone on the drive there to try to figure it out.

As soon as I got into my car to leave on Monday, I felt intense pain in my low back and right hip. I’ve been having issues with those areas and had a chiropractic adjustment on Saturday. But I think with twisting or lifting, I threw it all out again. So I had a great deal of physical pain the entire drive.

I thought I would have time to think. But I was wrong. Most of the journey was in the mountains. And when I reached those mountains for seven long hours it down poured. I mean it was relentless. Seven hours of almost nonstop downpours with many moments of not being able to see the lines on the road. Not to mention the many trucks slowing uphill and splashing past you on the downhill, drivers who speed in treacherous conditions, and those who don’t turn their lights on. And then, intense fog.

(If you must display major signage warning of fog, and the speed limit signs have to be lighted in order to see them, I’m thinking 60 mph is just too fast in these areas. Juss sayin’.)

By the time I reached my destination I was almost in tears. My body hurt so bad. My legs were swollen and so were my feet. My left foot was especially. I was a wreck. I could hardly make it up the stairs. The stress and tension too of the day had taken its toll on me.

I elevated my legs for a bit. Once the swelling had gone down (for the most part), I showered, took three droppers of CBD oil, and went to bed. I slept good.

I got up before everyone else and I sat in the living room by myself. I talked to God. I was grateful He got me there safely. With all the hydroplaning accidents I had seen along the way, I was very thankful. I was disappointed that I didn’t understand yet what my giant was after that exhausting and painful day. What was my lesson? Was it too early in my journey to know? I actually thought the drive itself was my giant, which I conquered, but I felt there was more.

I started to rehash in my mind all the events and conversations leading up to and concerning this trip. And then it hit me. I hit me hard. I realized what the giant is in my life. It couldn’t be more clearer or more obvious. The Goliath in my life is me.

I am my own worst enemy. My faith is weak. I overthink. I talk myself out of many things. No one on this planet hinders me more than my own self. No one belittles, discourages, rebukes, or insults me more than I do. No one guilts me more, shames me, weakens me, or stills the wind beneath my wings more than that Andi girl.

The truth was revealed. Now to work on slaying that giant. It might end up being a long, painful death as I have much work to do. But my God who made this known to me will not make me walk it alone. I now know what the biggest giant in my life is so now I can address it. Don’t they say that admission is the first step to recovery?

I know what many of my issues are so at least I have a starting point. Sometimes we don’t need to look very far as to what needs fixing.

What is the Goliath in your life? Have you ever thought about this?

My trip home was slightly better but an hour longer. Thirteen hours long. Still had fog and rain with a few downpours, but I was blessed to see the sun on occasion. I wasn’t swollen when I got home either. At least, not as bad.

I’m thankful for my journey this week and that God didn’t hesitate to reveal quickly the giant in my life. I have His promise that He won’t abandoned me but will provide strength, love, and encouragement as I begin another journey of sorts. I am blessed. ♥️

Andi

PHOTOS: wallpapercave.com; storm that hit five miles from home