I never understood how people could say that they are ready to die. Working in long-term health care I heard that a few times. You’ve heard it in movies and read it in books. But how can they say that? How can they feel that way? I always felt there was just too much life here for anyone to want to leave. So it was beyond my comprehension.
I couldn’t wait to say goodbye to 2021. I was a little timid though about stepping foot into 2022. My hopes were that it would be easier than 2021 and 2020. But this new year started in grief. Much grief.
Now I am beginning to understand more clearly.
As we age, the things that were familiar throughout our life change, leave, or die. So this makes leaving easier and staying, harder.
Tonight, I stood out on my deck and I thought of Amber. She would slowly walk around the yard like Eeyore and graze. I remember how much she loved the snow. Then I thought of Herc and Jazz. The three amigos are gone now.
As I looked around my yard, in my mind I saw Chelle by the bonfire, and Taylor kneeling on the porch with the kids. Both are gone. And both treasures to me.
It’s coming up on a year that Dad passed, and Mom died a few short years before him. These four people were so very important to me. I can’t even put into words…
I understand now.
When things/ situations/ people begin to change or leave, your world becomes a tad bit smaller and a whole lot lonelier. I understand now.
Cherish your youthful years and fill your life with much living, laughing, and loving. Make every single day count. And be ever so grateful for things familiar. ♥️