I spent a tearful time with God this morning asking for direction, comfort, help with these hard days, and for my life to please start coming together. I share this with you not because I require pity but maybe it might be helpful to you. You may feel the same in one or more aspects. I find comfort in knowing that perhaps, I am not totally alone. It is my wish to lift you up and help you to find the hope that you seek.
I prayed for comfort as we travel through this unknown territory. I admit that I am scared and insecure. I’m not the brave warrior that many believe me to be. I’m unsure as to what I should actually be doing right now as I am restless. I feel I need to be doing something, but I don’t know what. My body hums as though I am a hive filled with buzzing bees, wildly unsettled. Anxiety and depression are there just waiting for me to tap into them, which I do more often than I care to admit. Is this stress affecting my health? Most likely. Covid weight gain is an outward expression of my internal unrest. And I wonder if any man will ever be able to look past the physical to see my heart.
I prayed for direction as I am at a fork in the road where important decisions need to be made. I don’t want to make the wrong ones. Please, God, not again. So I asked for guidance and wisdom. I feel torn in many directions, and every direction leads me to another fork. I begged that my life might start coming together as it feels like the unraveling of a braided rug.
As I continued, I prayed for my children as they are scattered about. They each have individual needs so I asked God to guide them and keep them close to Him. I prayed for my friends that He might hold them close as well and that they are finding their way too, through this difficult time.
Finally, I asked for forgiveness as I don’t want my sin to hinder my prayers from being heard.
These personal feelings I’ve shared may seem trivial to you, but they are very real to me. It’s easy to tell someone to just get over it, or give it to God. Sometimes a person’s struggles may not be a struggle to you, but we should be sympathetic to those who desire help. Example. I have coworkers who come to me for support, guidance, and prayer. They tell me their personal struggles, and while I may not always see their situation as desperate, they feel every bit of it. I’m a firm believer in expression of emotion. It is a gift. There is a difference between sharing what’s on your heart and desiring attention (drama). I try my hardest not to feed it or give it time.
As my prayer was coming to a close I heard a ding on my phone. From the sound I knew it was related to a blog. It was from my son. He posted a comment which fit perfectly with my prayer. The timing was perfect. Here is his comment to my blog, “Wisdom vs Knowledge”:
Reading your words about Solomon while looking at your flower photos reminded me of Jesus’ words in Galilee. “Why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”
I can joyfully say that my relationship with Christ is on the upswing and my faith is increasing. He doesn’t ridicule me for the things I feel. He is compassionate and wants me to share whatever is heavy on my heart. Same with you and your life. Share with Him. Lay your burdens at His feet.
Believe. Believe in Christ while laying down our burdens. Believe that He is capable of handling anything we lay before Him. Believe that God cares, is ever-present, and will lighten our load. Believe that through Jesus, our sins can be forgiven and our prayers will be heard.
B E L I E V E . . .
I hope your day was lovely. Help each other through hardships. Pray for one another, and for our country. Give your cares and burdens to Jesus. Believe.
Be grateful for prayer. And for the beauty of flowers. ♥️
Photos: flowers in the courtyard garden at work, July 26, 2020