i wonder

my gazebo

i walk down a wintery path
in silence i reflect
on the many lives i’ve lived
and of the many hats i’ve worn
…and i wonder
how do i feel about it all?

i look upward into a snowy sky
i enjoy the touch of snowflakes upon my lashes and upon my cheek
and for that moment, i am a little girl of nine
when my dreams of a storybook love first began
…and i wonder
how do i feel about it all?

my head spins as i travel
through the many years
of happy moments
and of the saddest of times
of now realizing the true meaning of lonely
and of knowing the true meaning of love.

sitting in my gazebo, i listen to the silence of the snow
which is broken by a skipped beat of a scarred heart
and a breath that is not mine
and i realize the fragility of the human spirit
and how that sometimes (many times)
life just isn’t fair.

i walk the wintery path toward home
and i’m met by my delightful offspring
who’ve only just begun their earthly journey
how can i teach them of love and of heartbreak
…when i wonder
how do i feel about it all?

By Andi
January 19, 2013

I wrote this poem several years ago. I continue to wonder about love that I’ve had…and lost. And whether that void will ever be filled. I reflect on the lessons I’ve been taught through the years. I cherish the young girl inside me who is still very much alive…who still dreams wonderful dreams. And I wonder if she will ever grow up. Or if she even needs to.

I wondered what to write tonight. 😬
I hope you enjoyed this poem. I write poetry for myself so therefore, I understand them. Posting them publicly is stepping out of my comfort zone. It’s my hope that you can relate to some of what I write. ♥️

Thank you for coming by again. I love having you here. It’s always a perfect time for coffee with friends. ☕️


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