Shoelaces

Original post: July 30, 2021. Edited. While I no am longer party to all the “you should haves/ could haves”concerning my life, of which there were many, I know this is a real problem for others.

We have all sorts of well-meaning people telling us how to walk through our life. Including how we should have walked years ago. How does that even make sense? You should have…should never be included in most conversations.

I know people may have the best of intentions most of the time, but it isn’t fair to criticize someone’s walk in life. Not unless you’ve actually walked in their shoes. And if you haven’t, then leave their shoelaces alone.

Many times over the years I received unwarranted advice.

Example: I had several married women tell me that I didn’t need a man in my life. That I didn’t need a man to make me happy and that I need to enjoy my independence and my freedom. Then they tack on a little…you are so lucky.

Well, my first thought was this (at the time of the first posting)… I was 60 years old and had been married for 31 of those. So I kinda think I know what marriage is about. So please don’t treat me like I haven’t a clue about marriage.

Please don’t try to tie my shoes.

My second thought was…I really feel sorry for you that you viewed my singleness as luck and that you admired me for being alone. It speaks volumes about you and your mindset of your own marriage.

I walked a lot of miles in those marriage shoes. Even though my two marriages failed, I still believed in it. Why? For many reasons, but first and foremost, it is God’s design. And He designed it for a reason.

Regardless of what your story is, you’ve walked miles in your own shoes. You’ve experienced things I never have. You see life from different angles. I’ve experienced things that most people find unbelievable and it’s been suggested to me many times that I write a book about my life. Well…if I did that, many names would have to be changed. And then I’d have to cut my hair and move to some place like Slickpoo, Two Egg, Burnt Porcupine, Mudd Butte, Knockemstiff, Smackover, Bumpass, or Ding Dong, USA. (And, yes…those are real city names.)

But because of our own personal experiences we have learned and grown in our own way. We managed to survive. It was our journey. Our views of life vary because of it. Our hearts beat to different drums. Someone else may have experienced a similar walk as our’s, yet, we’re still very different.

So when someone tells you how high to jump or that you messed up your life because you didn’t do this or that years ago…just kindly reply:

Please don’t try to tie my shoes.

I’m not suggesting that with our different views in life should there be division among us. Quite the contrary. We should have an even greater, more compassionate need for one another. If anything, our walks have shown us the fragility of life. Every single day is sacred. And life is to be shared with one another.

But please don’t try to tie anyone’s shoes.

There’s a difference between simply being critical of someone’s life and helping them in the present day with compassion, love, and understanding.

I was certainly grateful for my Tamarindo Pathfinder slip-ons. No shoelaces. Now I wear Sketchers Slip-in’s.

♥️

Andi