The Choices We Make

We all have choices to make and most choices affect not only us, but others. 

Think about this: we all have just ONE life on this earth. And our choices should not negatively affect another’s. This might be a complicated concept but let me explain. 

Say you are having an affair and your spouse has no clue whatsoever. You have made the decision, the choice, to do so. This is your one life here and it is your choice to live any way you want.  Apart from God’s stance on this particular decision, he gives everyone free will. 

But…let’s think about your spouse. Your spouse has one life to live upon this earth as well. Would they choose to spend their ONE life this way? Being cheated on? I seriously doubt it.

This choice is typically made in secret so you talk yourself into believing this decision doesn’t affect your spouse, or anyone else. Well, it does. And the realty of it, is this: you’ve stolen their choice and, in a way, their one life. That is cruel. 

Oh, and by the way…nothing stays secret.

End one relationship before pursuing another. Or, preferably, end the one that is outside of the marriage. You have two choices.

This also pertains to those who aren’t married but are in a committed relationship where one has someone-on-the-side. It’s kind of crazy that this scenario happens, but it does. End one relationship before entering into another. That is respectful and fair.

I will tell you what’s not fair…keeping one person on deck in case the other falls through. 

Maybe you are a family with young children. Have you put your own desires and choices ahead the integrity of YOUR family structure? Have the children been shuffled between homes and/or multiple love interests? Nothing crueler than hurting children this way. And no, they are not having fun.

These are examples of choices we make. Choices that are devastating to other people.

We have one life to live here. How should we spend that short amount of time? Wallowing in our own desires before others? Living life to OUR fullest?

What makes us more special than someone else?

Why should our choices override another’s fundamental right to live their life as they wish? 

I have learned a lot over the years. I see the trauma in my children and grandchildren caused by divorce. We can’t go back and repair that. I, personally, will always live with the question of if I (we) tried hard enough to fix the marriage before pulling out the divorce card. Living with regret is not easy, nor is it fun. Not for anyone involved. Divorce seldom affects only two people. 

Learn from the wisdom of others…without having to experience it yourself. Don’t be so selfish that our desires override everyone else’s. That’s the key component in most of life’s decisions. Selfishness.

It’s not just about you. It’s not just about me.

We need to weigh our decisions carefully and try to make the absolute best ones for all concerned. Life is hard enough. 

♥️

Andi