Questions Arise

A rough night, but an even rougher morning. While my coffee was brewing I wandered in my daughter’s bedroom. It’s so freakishly quiet. And clean.

I sit on the side of her bed and open her blinds. She used to sprinkle birdseed on her windowsill. That way she had up-close views of her bird friends. Frodo, her cat, loved to watch them as well. And her window box outside would hold pink and lavender impatiens throughout the summer. Princess colors, you know.

Behind me is her huge cedar chest. At Christmastime, she’d set her Christmas tree on it. Her whole room would be decorated. She could hardly wait to take people into her room to show them her display. She is quite festive. And I love that about her.

She lived all of her teenage years in this room. We moved here when she was eleven. She’s 22 now with grown-up dreams of her own.

Did I teach her well enough? I couldn’t be the stay-at-home mom as with the other children, so I miss the quality time not spent with her. Does she have the skills needed to make it in this tough world? Did I show her how to find answers for questions she doesn’t know? Did she leave our home with more good memories than bad? Most importantly, did I teach her well enough about the love of God and the sacrifice of his son, Jesus?

These are the same questions I have asked myself with each of my six children when they left home.

I know I need to let her go. She is so happy. And I’m really happy for her. I know there will be tough times ahead. That’s the reality of life in this world. But she’s young and excited and so optimistic. Not to mention how strong she is. She will be okay. I’m only finding it difficult because my life is changed drastically as well. This huge chapter of my life has ended.

I want my kids to know that I love them as far as the east is from the west. I hope that is sufficient. ♥️

Andi