List Maker

I have a bazillion notebooks and half as many journals. Most journals I have had for years but are still untouched just waiting for the most perfect inspiration. Many notebooks are written in, often only a single page of something I didn’t want to forget at the time. It could have been a simple list of home repairs made, crafts to make, holiday baking ingredients, menus, bills to pay, gifts to buy, or how many naps to take in a day. (Juss kiddin’. I come from a long line of nappers. No list required.)

I’m in-between jobs currently and on day five of my eleven day lapse before my new job starts. I will be working more days and longer hours than I have for awhile so I made lists of things I need to do before I start.

While categorizing my lists and titling each one, I thought of a something I never really considered before. Things I Want Most in Life. Maybe this list has to do with my age and feeling the urgency to pull my life together and make some sort of sense of it. I feel, though, it is a list of great importance as I move forward in this next chapter of my life.

While my children and my significant other, D, are important, I am quite dedicated to them so I did not include them in this list. But I will explain each item on this list for a better understanding of why I placed them here.

Things I want most in life.

1. Christianity. The reason Christianity is on my list is because, in all honesty, I have to work really hard to stay on top of my relationship with God. I have witnessed God’s love and grace, yet my children and D are tangible in the physical sense. I see them. I hear them. I feel them. Therefore, it is easier to be dedicated to them. Maybe that is a wrong way to look at it, but it’s my realty. Bottom line: I want to make sure I have secured a mansion above so I can walk through heaven’s pearly gates when he calls me home.

2. Health. I had pretty much given up on my health and simply put, on life, a couple of years ago. Working for the insurance company depleted my energy and broke my spirit. While some can handle the job very well, working 9-5 in a windowless office, in front of three screens, for two years turned my mind and body into mush. At a bare minimum, I need to see the outdoors throughout the day. I am still dealing with the end result of those two years even though I’ve been out of insurance for 15 months. My body became weak and that’s something I just cannot tolerate. I need to become strong again and that has been very hard to do because sadly, I’m back on the starting block. A year ago in January, I did make a decision to go carnivore. From January to August, I ate only meat, eggs, bacon, butter, and some cheese periodically. The only thing I consumed that was derived from a plant was my coffee and a touch of stevia. I lost forty-five pounds and felt wonderful. Then I started not coping well after Matt’s passing and ate one piece of chocolate at work. That was a ginormous mistake as emotional eating took over and my sugar addiction came back in a full rage. I gained some weight back and started feeling horribly bad once again, both physically and mentally. I am happy to say that now I am back on carnivore…finally after months of battling the sugar addiction. I drink coffee but have kicked stevia to the curb for a couple of reasons. Day seven and the weight is starting to come off again and arthritic pain is greatly decreasing as well. I am stretching religiously and am able to move about more freely with much less pain. (I hope to write a post with more detail about my carnivore journey soon.)

I also spend time caring for my emotional wellbeing with meditation, devotions, and deep breathing, which sends me into a welcomed place of peace and calm. Bottom line: My goal for optimal health is necessary as it clears my mind so I can focus; therefore, I am more present in each moment. Strengthening both my mental and physical capacities lift my spirit so I can focus on life outside of myself.

3. Helping Others. I have been on the receiving end of help more times than I can count. I know what it’s like to feel hopelessness and loneliness. The struggle was very real being a single mom for the past 11 years. Friends have been there to help me financially and by other means of support. Robin and Denise are the ones I readily think of…even though they were once the best friends of my ex, I was family to them. I cannot recall the many times they were available for me and my kids even though they lived in another state. Several others were very present in my life as well. Now that I am in a better place, I find that the more I help others the better I feel and the more I am blessed. Bottom line: Giving back is a gift.

4. Grandma. I realize the importance of being a grandparent. Grandparenting is not just fun and games with the Littles. It’s about nurturing, guiding, teaching, and being a very important presence in their young, developing lives. I want to be that person the children can trust and count on. Because this task takes work and effort on my part, it is here on my list. Bottom line: a grandma has an important role in the lives of her grandchildren and I desire to be an active participant.

5. Write. My mind never rests. I have many stories to write and posts to share of all the things I’ve learned so far on my life’s journey. Connecting with people is very important to me so that no one feels they are alone with their thoughts and struggles. I desire to inspire and share dreams and life lessons with others. Hopefully, always sprinkled with a little humor and smothered in love. Even though my blog, coffeewithandi, is my legacy to leave my children and grandchildren, it takes discipline to write. I have books started, but again, it takes time and discipline. So that is why I’ve included writing on this list. Bottom line: writing is my life’s passion. I’ve only just begun but time isn’t waiting for me to catch up.

All of these on my list take thought, preparation, dedication, and effort, and that doesn’t often come easy for me. I get distracted easily and frequently, or sometimes a nap calls me.

I think lists are good. And I think that lists should be handwritten for better remembrance. I recently read an article which suggested handwriting is good for the brain. I believe that. So I suggest handwriting your lists.

I’m sure I will think of other things of importance to add, but this list is sufficient for now. Time’s a-wastin’.

♥️

Andi