How often in a day do you say “I can’t”? Honestly, I’m probably the world’s greatest, or should I say worst, I can’ter. What do we actually mean when we say “I can’t”?
Granted, we may have physical, emotional, or mental limitations that solidify an I can’t to a request. Or, there may be timing restraints that can justify an I can’t. But I think more often than not I can’t means, I won’t.
I won’t do that.
It’s not in my heart to do that.
I choose not to consider doing that.
But the easiest way out of the request without explanation is simply, I can’t. Stating I can’t instead of I won’t sort of shifts the request restriction out of our control. Like there is an outside power that restrains us. If that makes sense.
Granted, we need to know our boundaries. Taking care of oneself is priority, not selfishness as I once believed. So we need to be mindful of our own welfare.
If you are one who is involved with many organizations, groups, and sports outside of family life you might have a tendency to have blurred boundaries or no boundaries at all. Requests of you and your time might seem to be obligations rather than choices. This can be unhealthy if you have difficulty saying no. Defining boundaries and adhering to them is necessary for our overall wellbeing.
But I know, too, that I’ve used I can’t out of laziness. Or, maybe it was purely selfishness. Or, both. That was wrong on my part when I was perfectly able to fulfill a request.
Anyway, this thought popped into my head and I needed to get it out so I can accomplish something today…before I can’t.
♥️
Andi
Photo: somewhere in Acadia National Park, Maine, 2019
Coffee with Andi 