A Unit of Measure

Tomorrow is a new year. A brand new spotless year. Crisp, white pages of the next chapter of our lives, not yet marred by sadness or defeat. No sin or shame has darkened its pages. No eraser marks for do-overs. No white-out to cover what we want to forget. Crisp, clean, white pages.

But today is New Year’s Eve, a day of reflection for me. I use every New Year’s Eve to reflect upon the past year. Every year is unit of measurement of my life.

How did I fare? What have I learned? Am I a better person today than 365 days ago? Have I met goals? Did I help others? Have I been a good example to others? Have I brought anyone closer to God? Am I still walking with Jesus? Have I caused strife, or was I a peacemaker? Where do I need to focus my efforts in this new year?

All of these (and more) are intricate parts of this unit of measurement in my life.

Sometimes I am quite melancholy on New Year’s Eve because often it’s felt as though I am leaving an old friend and I struggle with leaving that friend. This year, though, was one of the most trying of all years. There have been tough work-related issues. Really tough ones. And family issues filled with big changes. But on the other hand, I joyfully reconnected with girlfriends from high school. And I’ve watched my grandchildren blossom from babies to toddlers to mini adults.

But experiencing love and then losing the battle to keep that love alive was the ultimate life-changing event for me. God brought together people who had never met before and under very trying circumstances. Very difficult, awkward, and painful lessons were presented. And how we handled those lessons, I believe, were indicators of the status of our hearts and personal relationships with God. I had to examine myself closely many times during those days. I also believe that God gave us these particularly hard lessons because he felt each of us was ready, and that perhaps, Christian growth was needed in our lives. I personally know this to be true in my case.

This summer wasn’t just about Matt leaving us. No, there was so much more to it. But first is acceptance of this decision to be God’s will. God’s will, and his timing, are always perfect. It’s understanding that God wasn’t being vindictive, mean, or unfair. He presented us with difficult challenges for sure. And with those challenges, what did we learn, and how will we use what we’ve learned to honor God?

Even with all the tears, strife, and heartache of this past year, the highs outweigh the lows, even in death. For me, my world opened up to include more people to love and care for. And for that, I’m grateful.

So I am moving forward to a new year. I leave nothing behind. All the life lessons that I learned, the growth in my spiritual life, and all the love of this year will go with me. Death cannot steal the past or erase what was.

A year is a unit of measure to break down my life into smaller, clearly visible portions. This makes my life’s journey easier to reflect upon. I can see where I’ve traveled so far, where I need to make improvements to the path I walk, and then the careful direction, or redirection, of my steps as I enter into the unknown of a new year.

And on a sweet note, as this year began to come to a close, God graciously presented someone special to walk beside me into this new year. And I am beyond grateful and filled with joy.

So, in closing my last post of the year, thank you for being present in my life. Thank you for the encouragement over the past year, along with the love and support you’ve given me along the way. Thank you for reading my wordy thoughts and still coming back for more. Just thank you for a blessed year. I appreciate you all.

Be well. Be safe. Love God and be filled with gratitude. Everything else will fall into place.

♥️

Andi