Never Once

While I was sitting out in the hospital waiting room…waiting…I found a beautiful song I never heard before while searching for 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman. Now…Never Once will be forever at the top of my favorite list.

This song struck all of my heartstrings. It was the most perfect sound track for the last several months. (Lyrics are in bold italic.)

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own

I will say that 2023, so far, has been one of the most confusing years of my life. Sad, beautiful, heart wrenching, eye-opening, and love-filled. The hills and valleys varied greatly from day to day. The lows were heartbreakingly difficult. The highs made my heart burst with the greatest joy. And love was steadfast throughout it all.

Everyday since that tearful day in June, I discover (learn) something new; something of great value. The pieces are coming together little by little. And all of this is possible because never once did God leave us in that hospital or in the two hospitals prior. Never once did he make us walk this painful journey alone. Never once did he abandon our loved one. Never once did he forsake our prayers. He heard them all.

That does not mean all of our prayers were answered according to our will because they certainly were not. Not all of them. And, definitely, not all of mine. But as time moves on, and away from, all that hurts us, the bigger picture is often revealed. I see bits and pieces of that picture now.

I could have argued with God and fought his decision. But who am I to fight the will of God? Anger feeds hate and both cause division. I choose not to do that. I would not have won anyway. God knows what’s best for all concerned and we need to find the glory (and peace) in his decision. I trust that God will bring to light all that I need to know to be a better Christian.

I am living my life one day at a time now and it is such a relief. Anxiety takes over when my worries run out further than one day ahead of me. I have learned much from these particular highs and lows.

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone

I still have whys and how comes…and I know my heart is going to hurt to some degree until the day I die. But I do see that God never left this heartbreaking situation. I see that his hand touched absolutely everything. And I find great peace in that. My faith has increased.

This year has presented to me the most vivid revelation of God’s presence in this world, and in my personal life. My heart has been greatly affected by all that I witnessed over the past 6 months. I am different. I feel different. I view life differently. I look up to God with greater adoration and respect. All for the better.

Never once did I ever walk alone…nor will I ever.

You are faithful, God, You are faithful. ♥️

Andi

Photos: St. Joe, MI, 2017, with Charlie