A Comparison

Original post: September 28, 2020. Edited.

The original post was a comparison between the years 2013 and the infamous 2020. Now I am adding 2023 into the mix. We tend to forget things and then end up reliving them later because, well…we forgot what happened, how we got there, and therefore, how to prevent the same scenario from happening again. The key is not to dwell on things but we mustn’t forget.

Just for fun – Do you recall the stickers stuck to the floors of stores that told you where to stand and directions to walk? Do you remember the hostility coming from others if you missed the “mark”? I do. When I think back, I see only foolishness in all of that. I have this aerial visual of us moving through aisles like cattle.

When that was brought back to my remembrance recently, it sent a little jolt to my heart as I recalled that horrible time in our very recent history. Probably because I had misplaced that memory in my brain. Life is filled with things we have misplaced and forgotten. Maybe this is my purpose for writing – to not forget important life lessons.

September 28, 2020:

I was going through some notes of mine looking for inspiration for future posts. I’m not on FB but every so often I hop on to take a quick peek and look through my memories. Often I can find something that I can use. Yesterday I ran across something I’d written. 2013 was the year in which my divorce was final and when I moved into my own home. I thought about that year and compared it to this year, 2020.

Goodbye 2013.

You were the hardest, most tearful year of my life. Through the trials and pain though, you taught me many things and although I am weak at times, I am basically stronger. Hopefully, wiser too.

These are only a few of the things I’ve learned:

I have developed more compassion for others than I ever had before.

I am no longer judgmental and/or critical of others for I am no better or no worse than anyone else.

I learned that everyone struggles with their own demons whether they wear their pain on their sleeve or not.

And that no one knows truly what goes on behind other’s closed doors.

I am more fully aware of the things that matter most in life. And they are not material things.

That forgiving is a wonderful release of pain.

Most of all though, I have learned to love more deeply.

I feel pretty tattered and torn but tomorrow is a New Moon, New Year, and a New Beginning. And with it comes New Hope, and much needed healing.

As I read this writing of seven years ago, I realize that all of these still hold true. And, yes, I’m still healing. Once you step out of the circle you’ve been living in, you can finally see everything more clearly. I know I do. I finally see what my family and friends saw from the outside looking in. And I understand now all that truly upset my best friend, Chelle. Things I didn’t/couldn’t comprehend at the time.

But how does 2013 compare to 2020? I guess in many ways it is comparing apples to oranges. But I think I can honestly still say:

2020, you were the hardest, most tearful year of my life. Through the trials and pain though, you taught me many things and although I am weak at times, I am basically stronger. Hopefully, wiser too.

The thing about 2020 is that this isn’t something that’s happened only behind my closed door. It is not just my personal issue. It’s all out in the open. Every single person is experiencing the same trials and hardships and stresses. This is a worldwide event that we are experiencing together. To see video of people in other countries living the same as us is both eerie and comforting at the same time. But this doesn’t mean we don’t struggle as individuals because the personal struggles are still very real.

And even though 2020 is not through with us yet, we should have already learned some heavy lessons.

We should have learned what is most important in life. And it’s still not material things. It’s people. And it’s time. Quality time.

We should be even more compassionate for others as we see people separated from loved ones, and for those who are suffering financially and emotionally.

We should be learning to be better listeners. There are probably more lonely, worried, and stressed out people today than I have ever witnessed in my lifetime. I always mention we need to listen to what someone is not saying. I believe it still holds true today. Maybe even more so.

We should have realized by now that we need to do our own unbiased research to know what is true and what is not because too many people are throwing too many things at us.

Love. It sure doesn’t need to be this complicated. Our cities are burning down under the guise of love. Hatred is running rampant through our streets and through their veins. But…on the other hand, those who are not out terrorizing our cities and towns are drawing closer together. People are bonding with one another of all color and race. Building up together what has been taken down. There is no difference in the heart of mankind when it comes right down to what really matters. To recognize this is a big plus for us as human beings.

Patience is becoming more of a challenge as fuses are becoming shorter as the year progresses with all the restrictions and confusion. I have noticed that even the kindest people have turned harder and angrier. I guess enough is enough and I can’t fault people for being angry. The fault would lie in their expression of anger as many times reaction has replaced thinking. And, wow…colorful words are now spewing from people who wouldn’t have thought of using them in 2019.

So this year has been eye-opener. Change has been most difficult for me. At the beginning of this insanity, our situation was described as being fluid. That term was vastly overused but it described our current situation which was, in fact, fluid. But I hope I never have to hear that word used in that manner ever again. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me.

I did learn that constant change wears people down. And rather quickly. It creates confusion and mild hysteria. It causes people to be reprimanded today for doing something “old school” which was just the policy of yesterday. Change has been one of the hardest challenges of 2020.

I could go on and on but the reality is this: each year has its own challenges. And some years are much harder than others. But, hey…let’s not overlook the abundance of rewards. There are so many wonderful things for us to find pleasure in and to be thankful for. Human relationships are still the ultimate of all good things. Nature is also at the top with its endless curiosities and beauty. God is so good to us.

2021 is a blur as well as 2022. 2023 smacked me and my family pretty hard and it’s only August. I’ll remember this year. I know others who will remember this year as well. Heartbreak tends to create the ultimate of all scarring…and we remember. I’ve learned a great deal about life and the thin line that separates us from eternity. The things I thought were of great importance yesterday, no longer hold a candle to what is truly important today. When I have someone complain that a neighbor is mowing their yard after 9:00 (in July when it’s still daylight) I have to wonder how they’ve missed critical life lessons.

Life is about giving and loving others. It’s about sharing what you have with those in need. It’s opening your heart to those who are hurting. It’s about being present when no one else wants to be. It’s about sacrifice and godly love. Honest, true, genuine, godly love.

We cannot always change another’s circumstance but we can definitely show them that they are not alone. Living life with Christ-like love and compassion means setting aside our selfishness and becoming selfless. Yes, I have learned much this year so far.

Learn from every situation whether good or bad. Be positive and patient. Love one another. Listen closely. Always be kind and forever grateful. ♥️

Andi

Photos: my friend, Pam’s garden flowers, summer of 2023