But Even If You Don’t

Original post: March 10, 2023.

With the passing of Matthew, I have been reflecting on the prayers I prayed on his behalf over the past several months. I recall that I would also add to my prayers, “and help me to accept whatever the outcome.” Now that I am having to accept the “whatever”, I find it to be very difficult.

I harbor no resentment towards God, only graciousness for the blessings He so abundantly provided our friendship over the past four years, especially during these last months, and even more specifically, during these last three weeks. I will admit I lack understanding of “why”. Maybe His purpose will be revealed at some point down the road. Or…maybe not.

Even if you don’t…

When we pray, our prayers are often based on our very human side which is filled with emotion. We see everything up close and very personal while God sees a much larger picture with a much greater purpose.

We know that God has all power. We acknowledge that He has the ability to pull us out, and away, from every single situation that pains us. But what if God doesn’t?

Even if God doesn’t…even when we do not understand why…and no matter how much we are hurting…our hope and our trust rest in Him. And this is because God loves us more than we could ever comprehend, and He sees the larger, complete picture.

Even If by MercyMe is one of my most favorite Christian songs, if not the favorite. I’ve listened to it a million times (well maybe not that many) and I tear up (okay, cry) every single time. The emotion Bart Millard beautifully pours into each word reaches my very soul.

But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

I pray in a certain direction according to my heart (you know, based on my human side), but then I also pray that I accept whatever the outcome is. That is really difficult to do. And truthfully, it is sometimes prayed hesitantly and reluctantly.

But I know He hears me. And I know He feels every bit of my anguish. Yet I also know He has a reason for His decision that I often cannot see or understand. This is submission on my part. Accepting His decision regardless, and loving Him without reserve. It is quite humbling.

But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

♥️

Andi

Photos: a big part of my heart lies 1,300 miles away in the beautiful state of Maine. These pictures are mine and were taken in 2017, 2019.