Autumn is making her presence known. She is adorning herself with a beautiful array of color. The sun adds extra highlights that change throughout the day. And that brilliant blue sky makes a lovely background. I wish I could tell her to slow down so we can enjoy her just a little longer.
As I sit here on my front porch swing, I realize the need to turn it off. Turn off the struggles of the day, of this year. Turn off the news. Turn off my mind. Soak in the beauty of this evening. Wherever you are, turn it off, and just be.
God designed the world with us in mind. He provided many things within our reach to comfort us and bring us peace. The changing seasons. The coolness of an autumn breeze. The sound of owls in the distance. Even a barking dog. Water rushing over rocks. Crickets. The smell of a bonfire. Turn it all off and turn your senses on. Find comfort in knowing that trials are not forever. They come and go like the seasons. Find peace in your evening. I found mine.
Be grateful for peaceful moments. ♥️
Andi
Photos: today’s photos of the woods, the sky, the view from my bedroom window, and this morning’s sunrise, October 8, 2020.
After the events of the past two weeks, I finally realized today that the world we once knew is gone. You know…the world that we knew in January and February of this year. We can kiss that world goodbye.
March certainly came in like a lion but September went out like a fiery mythological dragon exhaling its putrid flames into October.
We now live in a world of mass confusion, conflict, anger, and depression. These past two weeks I experienced a depression like I’ve never experienced before in my entire life. Depression from being told I was wrong and they were right no matter what…even though I was diligent to present facts. My voice fell on deaf ears. Humiliation was replaced by anger which tightly wrapped depression like a burrito. Anger from basically being told that I had no say whatsoever in the matter. Anger that I allowed them to make me feel I was beneath them. Anger because they took away my freedom. Who are they anyway? Who are they to tell me how to conduct my personal affairs? My eyes were truly opened. I was stripped of my rights within a matter of minutes. I lost wages. I lost days and nights. I was humiliated. I was treated as though I was mentally incapable of making decisions and judgment calls concerning what is best for myself and the people in my life. Then I was just tossed aside like a piece of trash. My life simply did not matter.
Everyday changes are being made to the many changes already made, and massive amounts of new rules and policies are stacked on top of new rules and policies. No one is able to keep up. And I mean no one. Not one person, group, or organization can give you an answer that is consistent across the board. Contradictions are everywhere. And you…you are nothing to them. You do as you’re told and how dare you question anything. Because no matter how much you try prove the error, they refuse to accept truth. They refuse to acknowledge that the system has failed. You are just wrong…no matter what. The only thing that matters to them is your compliance.
We can kiss the world we used to know goodbye.
My advice to you is to not be silent. Even if you hold a position of authority. Don’t be so eager to do as you are told without knowing the facts and questioning everything. Know your rights. Speak up! Take back the power that you so easily and readily handed over because they convinced you that you don’t know what’s in your own best interest. And you believed them! We all believed them! It’s time to reclaim our life.
And one more thing, seriously…get to the polls and vote. Don’t mail something as important as your voice. Don’t put your voice in an envelope. It’s so not worth the chance of someone dumping it along side the road in order to silence you. Go to the polls. We need to make changes to the system. It is completely broken.
They say that all of this is done in the name of humanity. I beg to differ. Lives are being destroyed one person at a time.
The system is broken. We are broken. We need to recognize this and fix it now.
Andi
If I sound angry, it’s because I am. We should all be angry to the point of making positive changes. Don’t use anger for vengeance, retaliation, or for your own purpose. Anger is an energy. Use it wisely.
October is my favorite month of the year. It’s also my favorite color.
View from my sunroom
The air is crisp and clean.
Beautiful things happen in October.
A bonfire is definitely better in October.
The sound of falling leaves is music to my ears.
I dream more vividly in October.
I feel alive.
Romance is in the air.
October, for me, is the beginning of one long heartwarming holiday from now until New Year’s Eve.
Watching the leaves fall like rain, to blanket the earth, is beautiful.
An October sky is more brilliant to me than any other sky.
October is perfect snuggling weather.
Country roads are best driven in October.
October is magical to me.
Beautiful woods behind my house. The sunrise makes it glow all the more.
While some tend to look at October as death and dying, I have always viewed October as preparation for a much needed rest. A peaceful rest for the trees and all of nature. And us.
I enjoy the changing seasons but I love October best.♥️
Andi
Photos: my views this morning as the sun was rising, October 5, 2020
1I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.2 I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
I hadn’t actually planned on writing today but I never quite know when the urge will strike. And it’s better for me to just go with it. I got up when it was still dark and began to write. I moved from the kitchen table to my sunroom so I could admire the lovely fall view as the sun rose. It’s peaceful here.
With several trials at hand, I have recognized the rapid deterioration of my spirit. 2020 is relentless in its battering. I understand more fully the feeling of desperation and I am deeply compassionate of those who have felt there is nothing more. I know there is more. Much more.
Satan will use whatever lies he can get you to believe so you will doubt, and eventually fail. He will use whatever tactics he can to break your spirit; for he knows where to strike. He knows each of us that well. And he doesn’t play fair.
Do not believe the lies.
I am asking that you spend time each day to do a self-check of your spiritual condition. When you compare your spiritual health from January to October, what do you see? I see highs and lows throughout these months but a noticeable decline in the last few weeks. It is better to stay on top before it gets out of hand.
9The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 10And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
When you focus on God and fill your heart with thanksgiving, it is amazing how the bad just doesn’t seem as bad anymore. Oh, it’s there. Believe me, I know it is. And I still have to deal with it all. But I am not alone.
I will set this day aside as one of thanksgiving. I will set my eyes on the One who has ultimate power to fix that which is broken and give strength to the weakened.
Psalm 95:2 Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
Colossians 4:2Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.
Philippians 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Remember too that those of like mind can be an encouragement and strength to one another. No matter how far we are from each other, distance does not matter when we have prayer. Pray for me as I pray for you.
Be grateful to the One who is still in control. ♥️
Andi
(Again, I am not asking for sympathy. We are all in this together. I’m no better off, nor am I worse, than anyone else. I am sharing to help others. And in doing so, it strengthens me. That’s all.💕)
As I get older, and especially through this past challenging summer, I have felt an even deeper appreciation for the sky and all it has to offer. It is ever-changing with its many moods. Depending on the day, the sky can vary in every shade of blue found within the color spectrum. I often find autumn skies to be my favorite hue of blue.
The wind constantly adds direction and shape to the cloud formations. Moisture and temperature in the atmosphere help to dictate the type of clouds we will have that day. Some days the sky is a radiant blue, and cloudless, while on others, the it is hidden by the heaviness of darkened, but still very beautiful, clouds.
Sunrises and sunsets wish us good morning and goodnight, often filling the sky with an assortment of color and design. And the heavens in nighttime are no less amazing. The full moons, blue moons, super moons, and every moon in-between, add an essence of romance to a starlit sky and shadowy earth.
I simply love the heavens with all that is visible, but like the vastness and depth of an ocean, or of the mighty Great Lakes, there’s an intriguing mystery of what is beyond and unseen.
Be grateful for the heavens and that everyday is unique in design. ♥️
With all the hatred in this world, always let those in your life know how much you do love them. Never leave home angry, or go to bed mad. And never allow trivial issues to shadow your true feelings for one another.
Be kind to those you associate with and be extra kind to strangers who come across your path during your day. You never know how much they may need your kindness. Let love and compassion radiate from you as you travel throughout this day. One never knows how this day will end, with, or without, you in it. Plan as though this is your last day upon the earth.
Leave no doubt with anyone about how you truly feel for them. There’s no regret or shame in telling someone you love them. Those words, that beautiful sentiment, positively affect you both…whether you receive a response or not. Everyone deserves to know they are loved.And how wonderful it feels to say it!
God created the world for us. He designed it to reflect His glory. And His theme is L*O*V*E.
Love is good. ♥️
Andi
Photos: pretty flowers in arrangements I’ve made in the past.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
It’s hard to give problems up to God because, honestly…we can’t see Him. We’ve never seen Him physically. He doesn’t call us, send emails or text messages. At times He just doesn’t seem real. And when we are in way over our head, He seems to be even further away. Or, even nonexistent.
I’m just being honest here. Maybe you have felt the same too from time to time. I don’t think we should feel bad when those thoughts arise because we are very human but we cannot let those thoughts linger in our hearts as doubt will settle in. And doubt is our enemy.
When you think things can’t get any worse they often prove us wrong. I’m currently waving the white flag while crying uncle. It’s okay, really. I don’t need sympathy. But what I do want is to encourage you if you are experiencing something similar and find yourself beginning to doubt the presence of God. In helping you, I might just help myself.
God is, was, and always will be. The Bible gives us our history upon the earth in great detail. We don’t always understand why things happened the way they did, but we can see the connections and references between the generations of people from Genesis to Revelation. And that helps to solidify Truth.
Not only that, but God’s handiwork is clearly visible throughout nature. Only a Master Designer could have possibly created all the intricate detail and wonders of this earth. These are gifts and reminders of God’s love for us because we as humans have a tendency to forget. We need to read the Bible too. Enclosed is the beautiful message of hope through His Son, Jesus. He’s also given is instructions on how to keep safe and happy…and doubt free.
I encourage you to lay your burdens at the feet of Jesus and to not be anxious. And I encourage you, most of all, to not doubt that God is who He says He is, or of His divine ability to answer prayer.
Matthew 14:21Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Mark 11:23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.
Luke 24:38And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?”
James 1:6But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
Luke 13:19 It is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his garden, and it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches.
Luke 17:6 And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.
May you see the abundant blessings in this day. ♥️
Andi
Psalm 55:22a Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you.
Photos: beautiful Lake Michigan, June 2017, St. Joseph, North Pier Lighthouses
I was going through some notes of mine looking for inspiration for future blogs. I’m not on FB but every so often I hop on to take a quick peek and look through my memories. Often I can find something that I can use. Yesterday I ran across this mini-blog. 2013 was the year in which my divorce was final and when I moved into my own home. I thought about that year and compared it to this year, 2020.
Goodbye 2013.
You were the hardest, most tearful year of my life. Through the trials and pain though, you taught me many things and although I am weak at times, I am basically stronger. Hopefully, wiser too.
These are only a few of the things I’ve learned:
I have developed more compassion for others than I ever had before.
I am no longer judgmental and/or critical of others for I am no better or no worse than anyone else.
I learned that everyone struggles with their own demons whether they wear their pain on their sleeve or not.
And that no one knows truly what goes on behind other’s closed doors.
I am more fully aware of the things that matter most in life. And they are not material things.
That forgiving is a wonderful release of pain.
Most of all though, I have learned to love more deeply.
I feel pretty tattered and torn but tomorrow is a New Moon, New Year, and a New Beginning. And with it comes New Hope, and much needed healing.
As I read this writing of seven years ago, I realize that all of these things still hold true. And, yes, I’m still healing. Once you step out of the circle you’ve been living in, you can finally see things more clearly. I know I do. I finally see what my family and friends saw from the outside looking in. And I understand now the things that truly upset my best friend, Chelle. Things I didn’t/couldn’t comprehend at the time.
But how does 2013 compare to 2020? I guess in many ways it is comparing apples to oranges. But I think I can honestly still say:
2020, you were the hardest, most tearful year of my life. Through the trials and pain though, you taught me many things and although I am weak at times, I am basically stronger. Hopefully, wiser too.
The thing about 2020 is that this isn’t something that’s happened just behind my closed door. It is not only a personal issue. It’s all out in the open. Every single person is experiencing pretty much the same trials and hardships and stresses. This is a worldwide event and we are experiencing this together. To see video of people in other countries living the same as us is both eerie and comforting at the same time. But this doesn’t mean we don’t struggle as individuals with all the problems of today as the personal struggles are very real.
And even though 2020 is not through with us yet, we should have already learned some heavy lessons.
We should have learned what is most important in life. And it’s still not material things. It’s people. And it’s time. Quality time.
We should be even more compassionate for others as we see people separated from loved ones, and for those who are suffering financially and emotionally.
We should have learned that we need to be better listeners. There are probably more lonely, worried, and stressed out people today than I have ever seen in my lifetime. I always mention we need to listen to what someone is not saying. I believe it still holds true today. Maybe even more so.
We should have realized by now that we need to do our own unbiased research to know what is true and what is not because too many people are preaching too many things.
Love. It sure doesn’t need to be this complicated. Our cities are burning down under the guise of love. Hatred is running rampant through our streets and through their veins. But on the other hand, those who are not out terrorizing our cities and towns are drawing closer together. People are bonding with one another of all color and race. Building up together what has been taken down. There is no difference in the heart of mankind when it comes right down to what really matters. To recognize this is a big plus for us as human beings.
Patience is becoming more of a challenge as fuses are becoming shorter as the year progresses with all the restrictions and confusion. I have noticed that even the kindest people have turned harder and angrier. I guess enough is enough and I can’t fault people for being angry. The fault would lie in their expression of anger as many times reaction has replaced thinking. And, wow…colorful words are now spewing from people who wouldn’t have thought of using them in 2019.
So this year has been eye-opener. Change has been most difficult for me. At the beginning of all this insanity, our situation was described as being fluid. That term was vastly overused but it described our current situation which was, in fact, fluid. But I hope I never have to hear that word used in that manner ever again. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. I did learn that constant change wears people down. And rather quickly. It creates confusion and mild hysteria. It causes people to be reprimanded today for doing something “old school” which was just the policy of yesterday. Change has been one of the hardest challenges of 2020.
I could go on and on but the reality is this: each year has its own challenges. And some years are much harder than others. But, hey…let’s not overlook the abundance of rewards. There are so many wonderful things for us to find pleasure in and to be thankful for. Human relationships are still the ultimate of all good things. Nature is next with its endless curiosities and beauty. God is so good to us.
What is in store for 2021? Wow, who knows? It doesn’t hurt to get involved with or be proactive in issues that will influence our new year. That is kind of our responsibility to our community and to our country. But plain old worry and over-thinking will only burden us. There’s no benefit in that.
Thank you for stopping by again today. I appreciate you. Coffee is perfect on this damp autumn morning.
Learn from every situation whether good or bad. Be positive and patient. Love one another. Listen closely. Always be kind and forever grateful. ♥️
Andi
Photos: my succulents at home and those I cared for at the florist where I once worked.
Yesterday, I watched an eagle fly low just above the trees. Yesterday, I watched orange and golden leaves dance through the sky until they covered the ground like grandma’s pieced-together quilt. Yesterday, I walked on dusty pathways of a rustic campground and felt one with the earth. Yesterday, I received a letter that pushed the air out of my lungs, and made me cry.
Yesterday, I allowed a bad moment to cast a dark shadow over the many good moments I had. I surrendered my control, my strength, and my happiness to someone else. I handed them over, practically gift wrapped, to the sender of that letter.
As I sit here on my porch swing today, I realize how wrong I was to let something distasteful ruin a perfectly good fall day. That just can’t be. Positivity should always be our focus. Peace, love, compassion, and happiness should out-power most of the bad that comes our way. I admit that it takes discipline. I learned another lesson. Well, I learned this lesson…again.
I hope your good moments outrank the bad. Don’t willingly hand your power or your happiness to another. They belong to you. There are those who need to take your control to make them who they are because they are nothing by themselves. Don’t allow them to weaken you.
Today, I take back what is mine. And I will be content. I will deal with that person as needed but they get nothing more from me. Today, I will look for all the amazing wonders around me and rejoice.
Golden streaks of autumn sun, Shoot through the forest trees, Enhancing every color scheme, Contained within the falling leaves.
A spider’s web hangs gracefully, Created skillfully through the night, Glistening with the morning dew, A chef d’oeuvre of pure delight.
The air is crisp and clean these days, It refreshes my very soul, And awakens a youthful spirit within, Once again…I feel whole.
Grapes adorn the twisting vines, Shades of purple, orange, maroon, and green, This kaleidoscope of color and taste, Beckoning me these vines to glean.
Though I walk alone, alone I’m truly not, For my senses are my friends this day, As I behold God’s awesomeness, In the beauty of this fall display.
October 3, 2012
While I’m grateful for every season, autumn is my favorite. My manager, Sydney, and I were discussing this today. There’s something special about fall. It has a sad, but happy presence. Melancholy. Maybe because the beauty is short-lived. It is the season where everything you feel is magnified, but in a good way. The air is crisp and I, personally, feel more alive than any other time of the year. There are so many wonderful scents of autumn. Piles of raked leaves, a bonfire, a walk through the woods, and hot cinnamon apple cider all leave you wanting more. Romance is in the air too, complete with warm arms wrapped tightly around you, chilly noses, and interlaced fingers. It’s just all so perfect.
I truly hope that you can find time to enjoy this season in all its glory. Don’t put it off because autumn doesn’t wait for anyone. She leaves as quickly as she arrives.
There is a book called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is a very interesting read and one I suggest to anyone who desires to understand love more fully. This particular book is for couples. It would be beneficial to read prior to marriage but it certainly isn’t too late after. There are other versions for different types of relationships, such as with children, for singles, and for the work environment, all by the same author.
Love comes in all sorts of packages. We are all unique in design, so love is unique. Our needs and desires have been shaped during our growing up years and they will reflect in our marriage. But the basic need for love is about the same for everyone. We want to love someone and we desire to be loved as well. It’s all the specifics that vary. We each bring something different to the table and that can be a good thing. Especially if you are bringing what your spouse needs and desires.
Loving someone isn’t as easy as a fairytale, storybook love. It actually does take work to maintain. Many give up after years of trying to understand their spouse, but always seeming to miss the mark. Some know right away when it’s the right one, because sparks fly. But still it takes dedication to make a relationship work. Knowing what makes your companion tick, and what does not, is a gift that you give to them. This book is a great guideline for you to get started on a more fulfilling love relationship. And you will also learn much about yourself.
Music is a huge part of who I am. The hopeless romantic in me sees a song in everyone. A beautiful song unique in its melody with all its chords and notes, it’s sharps and rests. Learning someone’s song will make your relationship better. Listening not only to the lyrics, but to the music itself, allows you to be more supportive when something seems off key in your love relationship. Listening is crucial. It is the most important part of communication.
Loving someone is a gift. True love is not selfish nor is it blind. Love is patient. Love is giving. Treasure the one by your side. Be grateful you have someone. Learn their love language and sing their song.
I’m so glad you stopped by. It’s always good to see you!
Be grateful for love languages and beautiful songs. ♥️
Once in awhile you might just have to do something that is very difficult because it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes it’s about making several hard decisions all within a short period of time. And that can be both taxing and liberating.
Maybe it is because your heart hurts in the place where you are. It’s about realizing that it is more painful to be in a constant state of hopefulness, when there is absolutely no hope, than feeling the emptiness of walking away.
It could be because morally you can no longer enforce the policies that go against your heart and of the hearts who have been entrusted to your care. Although leaving breaks your heart.
It could be because you realize that those same ever-changing policies that must be obeyed (and enforced) are full of holes and inconsistencies. And by enforcing them you realize you’ve become part of the problem and not of the solution. Meanwhile, many suffer anguish, anxiety, loneliness, and depression under these same policies…all under guise of safety.
Maybe it is because your rights are being trampled on and chiseled away little by little by those who seem more powerful than you. It could be those within a private sector, or a large corporation, and through big, invasive government. It’s realizing you are a pawn in another’s agenda, and that you mean absolutely nothing to them and it is time to regain your voice.
It could be that you are being forced to do something to your own body, for the “sake and safety of all mankind”. And if you don’t, you are labeled as being unloving and uncaring for another human being…which could not be further from the truth.
It could be that your very breath has ceased and you’ve become a bot. Human in form, yet courage no longer runs through your veins. You finally realize its time to reclaim your life.
We all experience hard things. That is a rule of life. It’s knowing when to take action and when to remain silent. It should never be about compliance for the sake of not stirring already murky waters. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Even if you stand alone. It’s knowing how you need to live without jeopardizing who you are. Sometimes we have to make those difficult decisions which have the potential to separate us from friends, family, work, etc., for the sake of maintaining our moral values. If a situation doesn’t lift you and make you a better person, it’s probably worth examining a little closer. After all, you have to live with yourself until the day you die.
Love yourself enough to walk away when it’s time.
Love yourself enough to make necessary changes even if it means stepping off into the unknown.
Love yourself so you can love and care for others better.
There are probably numerous more scenarios that could be written here, but that’s all I’ve got today. Life is hard. There’s no denying that. It’s about making the necessary adjustments and changes once you realize there’s a problem.
Thank you for sharing coffee with me on this lovely “almost” fall morning.
Be grateful for when you finally realize the difficult changes that need to be made….and you make them. ♥️
Andi
Photos: sunrise, October 6, 2016; pretty flowers on a nature walk, September 19, 2020
Yesterday after work, a friend and I decided to walk at a favorite park of mine. We are encouraging each other to make better lifestyle choices by eating right and living healthier. This was day two and we added in this gorgeous walk. A walk, for me, down memory lane.
This park is loaded with wonderful memories for me as I used to run it several years ago. My favorite runs were trail runs and I particularly enjoyed running uphill. Don’t ask me why. I ran a 5k through here once. A charity for mental health. That was an interesting run. It took place on an early Saturday morning. Lots of college kids joined in this run as this park is actually part of the university. We were into the run about halfway when I got passed by a college girl. At that point we were up high along the ridge of the old gravel pit. It was only a few moments later when I passed her as she was heaving her guts up and out on the side of the pathway. I continued on only to be passed by her a second time. Again, I found her up ahead heaving her Friday night fun all over the edge of the pathway. Right now I don’t recall ever seeing her pass me a third time but I think I saw her at the finish line. I had to admire her dedication to keep pushing forward under those circumstances.
Down below is what I call the canyon, it gets mighty hot down there in the summer. It’s resembles a southwestern desert, or Mars. This is where 18, or so, turkey buzzards circled me as I ran through it on a very hot summer afternoon. It was a little intimidating for sure. I just made sure I didn’t stop.
As we walked, I recalled the time I was running and my foot tagged a root and down I went. I jumped up as fast as I could and looked around to see if anyone saw me. Well, no. I was in the thick of the woods. No one saw. I noticed my knee and hand were both bleeding. I told myself to “suck it up, sissy” and I continued on my run. I’m sure I looked a wreck by the time I got to my car. I was always pretty good at pushing through all the reasons to quit, whether it was in running or weight training, or whatever.
We walked up the gravel hill to get up on the ridge. This was where I slipped while on one of my joy runs and tore my calf badly. It pretty much ended my running career. The muscle needed to be stripped but that hurts, so I didn’t do it…regretfully. I would have had to stop running eventually because of my hip, but I still had a couple more years where I could have run. Sometimes we don’t make the right choices at the time. I miss running.
It sure felt good to be out there yesterday. The leaves are turning slightly. The geese were enjoying an afternoon swim. Beautiful views. The scent of fall in the air. Friendship and conversation. A good way to end a day.
Thanks for stopping by for a little reminiscing. Coffee is on!
Life can be full of surprises. Some are good and some not so much. Life cycles through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. It’s a natural progression just like the phases of the moon or the changing seasons.
My downward swing started getting worse as I realized this year was creeping closer to a close. I was feeling hopeless and unaccomplished that none of the things I needed (and wanted) to do in 2020 have transpired, thanks to Covid-19. I told you in a previous blog that I had high hopes that 2020 was going to be my year of positive changes. So far no, but…this year isn’t over yet.
Well things do have a way of reversing order. It’s all a part of the cycling process. And although I may be on a slight upward swing, there are still questions, and perhaps a little scariness involved, and of course, doubt. But it’s all good. (Well, except for the doubting part.) Maybe your prayers are being answered. Maybe a void is being filled. Or a decision is being made. Perhaps a second chance is given. And if your prayer isn’t answered exactly the way you wanted it to be, it doesn’t mean it isn’t being answered. God answers in His way and in His timing. It’s all good.
I have learned a lot this year. 2020 was a lousy teacher but still it taught us lessons. On the positive, we spent more time at home with our families. People began to be more creative with their time. We realized what’s most important in our life. On the negative…well, I’ll just leave that alone. We are all aware of the negative lessons of this year. My scale is one indicator.
I am seeing some light and it’s a welcomed sight. I have hope. I know God has a plan for trusting and obedient hearts. Even if my long “to do” list isn’t all checked off by New Year’s Eve, I’ll be happy for one or two check marks anyway. And it’ll be good.
Being positive can often be difficult when we feel so beaten down. It’s something that takes work and much effort. Even on the most trying of days, when we’d rather wave that white flag and lie there in a heap on the floor, we need to practice being positive. Practicing patience isn’t a bad idea either. 2020 has taught us much about patience. Me, anyway.
Yesterday, while I was working in my yard, I paused to watch this butterfly. Nature has a way of slowing us down and that’s a really good thing. I snapped pictures of this beauty and took a closer look at the intricate detail on its wings. That didn’t just happen by accident. The greatest of all artists painted these wings in His glory. We can look at these as beautiful little reminders that God is ever-present. No matter what part of the cycle we are on, the upswing or the down, God is all around us. Trust in Him.
Be grateful for the beauty of a tiny, thin, stain-glassed wing sitting on a flower which causes you to pause for a moment or two.♥️
Rules have been around since the beginning of time. First of all, nature was created by God and given cycles, boundaries, and rules. The sea and all that it holds, the birds of the air, and every creature that walks the earth are bound by rules. Their inner workings are all controlled by cycles. These rules and boundaries are to ensure that all species survive and flourish.
We, too, were given rules, cycles, and boundaries as well. All of these were designed for our protection. We have written and unwritten laws based on morality, which ultimately came from God.
Breaking laws, jumping boundaries, and interfering with cycles causes unique and specific consequences. Most of which are unpleasant. The world and all it contains is as intricate as the fine tuning of a clock. Everything needs to work together…or well, it doesn’t work. Sadly, many of our cities today are examples of broken rules, laws, and boundaries. Rules are designed for some type of order so we can exist and grow, and live peaceably with nature and each other.
Some rules can be fun and goofy. For instance, this was my FaceBook post on September 1, 2013:
Okay…..so I’m not a canoer. I admit it. I did learn the first two basic rules in canoeing though.
Rule #1: Do not wear dark printed underwear under light-colored, light-weight pants.
Rule #2: Do not kick water onto your seat as you get into the canoe.
I broke both. **********
Rules are always going to be here. There are no winners in bucking the system. God has His rules for us too. We can’t change a single word He’s written and we can’t change His mind. If He felt strongly enough to include His specific thoughts for us to obey in His Word, we can be pretty sure it’s for a good reason and for our benefit.
Rules. They are everywhere. Unless human rules go against God’s word, or against our own written laws, we need to obey them.
Moral rules: Love God. Love one another. Don’t intentionally hurt someone, mentally or physically.
I believe every person has potential to do great things. We need to check our hearts periodically to make sure we are a part of solutions and not of the problems.
I am so very happy you are here and I hope you come back to visit whenever I post. The coffee will always be on.
I am grateful that God gave us a blueprint for order in our lives. From marriage to raising children, to our positions in the family unit, to our jobs, and even to our government. The moon and stars, the earth, every planet, and the sun were perfectly placed and all obey His rules as well. Be grateful for God’s design. ♥️
Andi
I apologize for my absence. I saw my writing was going in a direction I did not like but I wasn’t mentally able to reign it back in. I am beginning to rise above and I do feel better. 💕
Photos: our nature walk on September 11, 2020; me, wet hair and in my favorite wardrobe…men’s oversized flannel shirts 😬
I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written. And I apologize to those who have sent encouraging messages for me to continue. But frankly, I lost something.
Me.
I won’t bore you with details. But just know that I am coherent enough to realize that I am nearing rock bottom and I need to help myself. I’ve been here before.
When you can no longer make sense of anything, when tears are your constant companion, when your body is becoming weaker, heavier, and less healthy, and when depression is your constant shadow even on cloudy days, you know you have to take some type of action. So I took just one small step in a positive direction.
Autumn is my favorite season. These first signs of autumn excite me. I feel more alive in the fall than any other season. My senses are more intense. I have beautiful connections of heart this time of year. I have better clarity of mind. And my soul finds its peace.
It is my time of reflection.
As this insane year comes to a close, and I begin to reflect, I realize that everything I hoped for, envisioned, dreamed of, and planned for 2020 was nullified because of political hatred and an agenda that used a virus (with an almost 100% recovery rate) to stop our lives, ruin us financially, but most importantly tried to break our spirit. And I have to say that I am a different person because of it. Yes, I learned much from this year, and in many respects I am a better person. But…I will admit that I have suffered brokenness. And it’s taken it’s toll on me financially, emotionally, and physically.
But lately I’ve noticed that I haven’t been feeling well physically. I have gained weight since March when all this madness started as I am an emotional eater. Intense stress will throw off hormones and cause you to gain weight. Overeating healthy foods can still cause you to gain weight. Throw in sugary comfort food periodically to fulfill cravings, and waaala, clothes start to feel tighter. So with this being said, two days ago I bought myself blood glucose monitoring kit. I am testing myself to see where my blood sugar levels are. My levels are not really all that bad but not where I want them to be. So now I have goals to shoot for. Goals that I can control. That means I need to eat better and more rationally, and exercise. Anything to make me feel better at this point.
Will I stress eat at times? Probably. But I won’t look at it as failure. I will look at it as steps still taken in the right direction because that is where my mind is. My mind is on the right track (now) and my body just needs to catch up. It’s about being kind to yourself. Forgiving and loving. Be aware and attentive to your needs. When I think about all this body has gone through, and done for me, and how it still allows me to accomplish the things I need (and want) to do, I am grateful for it. Oh, it will never be perfect (whatever that is) but it’s mine and it’s given me a good life.
Reflection is so very important. It helped me to see that I was in a desperate place. We can use it to evaluate where we are currently and where we need to be. Autumn is a fine place to start reflecting on your life and how the year has been so far. But know that reflection doesn’t always pertain to evaluating your life and determining changes that need to be made. It can be heartwarming remembrances of loved ones and times that are no longer. Reflection encompasses so much more than just self-improvement.
I was losing myself rather quickly but I’m finally back in the driver’s seat. I guess I should say that I’m finally sitting upfront next to the Driver. I’m not sure where or what God has in mind for my life, but this was something I had to do on my own because I saw it.
I hope you find autumn to be your time of reflection. Find peace and solace in nature as it begins to wind down after a long hot summer. There is so much beauty in this season. Just be.
Enjoy the first signs of autumn. There is still so much more to come. Be grateful for the ability to reflect and to make necessary changes, if there is a need. ♥️
Andi
PS As far as writing, I can only say that I will write when I can. I feel so distanced from it currently. Hopefully, though, they will be worth the wait. ♥️
PHOTOS: 1, Denae’s colorful harvest, August 29, 2020; 2-4, on a country walk, August 19, 2020; 5, sunrise, September 4, 2020; 6-7, sunrise, September 5, 2020: 8, beautiful sedum, September 5, 2020
While there are many horrible things going on in our country, both natural and sinister, we need to find something to be thankful for.
Blessings and treasures can be found in even the smallest things around us. Keeping life simple during hard times is probably a good thing. The big picture is sometimes too hard to comprehend and overwhelming. It is for me anyway. So this blog is a note to myself.
Laughter with friends, a sunflower, a hug from a grandchild, holding hands with an elderly person. The sun and clouds, the hot summer breeze. A plan that came together. A phone call to a loved one. Even in the beauty of a young praying mantis.
Do your part today to make your corner of the world beautiful. Look for the blessings because they are there. They are everywhere.
Thank you for coming by today. So appreciate your visits!
Keep life S I M P L E !
Be grateful for the small things in life. They make life big! ♥️
Andi
Photos: my sunflower; Grandpa with his granddaughter and great-granddaughter; praying mantis
I opened up my Bible and it opened to James 1. I didn’t pay attention to where it opened as I closed my eyes and tried to find the concentration I needed to spend quality time with God. I am still struggling with that.
I opened my eyes and looked at the lovely view from my swing…and the antics of 4-5 woodpeckers who were screaming at each other on the dead ash tree. I asked God to clear my head so I could concentrate on Him. Only this crazy mind of mine began to race. The harder I tried to concentrate, the more my mind wondered.
I thought about my trees and the cost to have eleven of them taken down as ash borer killed them all. I thought about work and that I still haven’t found another job…and how am I going to make it. I thought about my six children, my relationship with each, and their individual needs. I thought about the cruel things happening in our cities and country and how afraid that makes me. And then of course, I thought about how I don’t want to do this life alone without a companion. How I need someone to hold me on hard days. A best friend, companion, confidant. Someone who doesn’t leave.
All these things popped up in my head within seconds and swirled around in my head like frothy water at the bottom of a falls.
And again, I asked God for clarity of mind to focus on Him.
Please.
I finally looked down at my Bible. The first thing I read was verse 2.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
Okay. That was fast. Thank you, God.
I read further. Verse 5.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
Wisdom. I should be asking for wisdom.
Verse 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
Verse 7, 8 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
I will focus on these verses today as I ask God for wisdom, clarity, direction, and guidance.
I’ll close blog with this beautiful verse of encouragement.
Verse 12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
A situation that requires something be done a certain way because one believes it is the only right way. -Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Sometimes we are faced with a harsh reality which forces us to make a decision based on a matter of principle. It isn’t something I’d call fun. I know that I don’t get enjoyment out of making these decisions as they are often very difficult. But we make them because we believe it to be right, and often there is a moral value attached to it.
Consider each difficult decision and measure the pros and cons accordingly. Do not sacrifice your morals or principles to keep something the way it is out of fear. If a situation warrants a change, then you should do it.
Decision-making isn’t my strong point. I’ve lost and won. I’ve been challenged. I’ve been right. I’ve been wrong. A lot. I’ve lost friends, and I’ve gained some too. Not making decisions often means that someone else, or a condition, will end up making the decision for you and that may, or may not, be cool. It’s best to take charge and make decisions with things in your control.
If you make a bad decision, learn learn learn from it. Don’t beat yourself up. Get back on track and deal with the results the best way you can. It happens to all of us.
Thanks for stopping by for a quick cup of coffee. Be grateful God has given us principles and morals to guide us in decision-making. ♥️
This week I’ve had difficulty focusing on scripture. My mind has been a whirlwind of thought with a touch of anxiety. I read the Bible but nothing makes sense as I drift from verse to verse. It’s like looking into a bowl of alphabet soup (do they even make that anymore?) and the letters float around independently of one another. No rhyme or reason. Just floating aimlessly. But still I tried to force myself to concentrate which caused only more frustration and anxiety. I would get angry at myself for not being able to concentrate. And then I began to doubt my own Christianity. (Another power walks this earth. Don’t give in to doubt.)
This happened on Friday morning for the umpteenth time this week. I finally just closed my Bible and shut my eyes. I felt the early morning breeze on my face and in my hair. I heard the sounds of crickets. A lot of them. I opened my eyes and saw the lovely morning in front of me. I have tall ash trees in my front yard. Most are dead now, but they are still home to the woodpeckers and squirrels. This view is my favorite view from my front porch swing. The breeze blew through the tree and moved each leaf independently. In the early morning sun, the whole tree looked as though it was twinkling.
Next to it, a couple of woodpeckers sat at the very top of the dead ash tree. One of them would hammer away at that old tree for its breakfast in-between their very loud conversation. Woodpeckers are quite noisy. There were no human sounds. No cars, planes, trains, or mowers. Unusual. Only nature sounds. And I thought to myself that maybe this was all I needed to fill my spiritual needs at that moment. The books, chapters, and verses weren’t coming together, but my senses were filled with God’s glorious creation. And it was soothing to my soul.
1 John 3:20b God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.
God knows every single thing that is happening in our country and in our world. The good and the bad. He knows the truths and the lies. The beautiful and the ugly. He knows what is going on in my own life and all that weighs heavy on my heart. He knows all the reasons why I cannot concentrate. I believe that is the reason I closed my Bible and shut my eyes. I needed a little timeout. When I opened my eyes I was in a different place spiritually and that was more helpful to me than fumbling through scripture making sense of absolutely nothing. He knows what we need and when we need it. I needed something simple to calm my mind. Simple can still be very spiritual. I was grateful for this moment. It was a gift from God.
Be thankful that God is greater than our heart, and knows everything. ♥️
Andi
Photos: the view of my trees and of a woodpecker, August 17, 2020 (not taken on that particular Friday morning)
…you just need to treat yourself to a little something fun. After feeling somewhat deflated (almost embarrassed) for not getting that job I recently applied for, a medium twist cone perfectly dipped in chocolate, made me feel a tad better. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more perfect cone than this one. I couldn’t help but admire it before taking that first bite. And my girls…ohhhhh, they’d be so proud of me as I only got a tiny bit of ice cream in my hair this time, and a wee little smudge of chocolate on my shirt. I find that pretty amazing. It can be an adventure eating with me. If you dare to, you might consider bringing a cheap flea market rain poncho with you. You know…just in case.
Go out and get yourself a twist cone dipped in chocolate before your favorite ice cream stand closes for the season. It’s coming up fast. Next visit…pumpkin ice cream. Mmmmm. (Well…I say that now but at the last minute I know I’ll order my twist dipped in chocolate…again. That’s just what I do.)
Be grateful for soft serve ice cream dipped in chocolate on a warm summer afternoon. ♥️
When I write a blog, I write with my whole heart. I think I’m pretty transparent. I do this not because I am wanting sympathy or a pat on the back. My desire is to connect with the real you, so therefore; I will be real. And if we find we have something in common, how wonderful is that? Then we know we are not alone on this planet.
A few weeks back I wrote a blog called A Fork in the Road. I believed that a fork was beginning to narrow and the path becoming clearer for me to see direction. Well, today while I was on a much needed nature walk to clear my head and take pictures for future blogs, I received a generic email to let me know that I did not get the job I’ve been hoping for. It’s been three weeks of waiting and praying. The news ended my walk and I found an old bench to sit on. Maybe I am old school, but a personally addressed email, or better yet, a personal phone call, would have made this a teeny tiny bit easier to take. Needless to say, the tears of frustration fell like rain on that wooded pathway.
How should I feel about this? I know my age is now a great factor out there in the hiring world. I feel trapped. Vulnerable. Inadequate. Quite sad. Let down. Scared. And…I’m back to having all the many forks in my road.
I will tell you that I’m not mad at God but I’m not understanding His will at this point. I’m feeling pretty lost. Maybe even more so than before. I wish I could understand.
I will continue to ask God for direction in my life. I will continue to surrender all, as difficult that is for me. I will continue to love, praise, and honor Him. I will continue to hope. Maybe He protected me from something I cannot see. I will need to trust Him on this.
But today I’m letting the tears fall. And there are many. Tomorrow is a new day.
Thank you for listening to me. Coffee is good even in the late afternoon. I hope you are enjoying our visit. Now please hand me a Kleenex. 🙂
Be grateful for blessings seen, and those unseen. Maybe this is a blessing. I need to believe that it is. ♥️
My morning ritual of coffee and time with God has become very important to me this summer. I will miss these early mornings on my front porch swing when winter arrives. Today as I read through 2 Peter, my heart found the words to this blog. I’m thankful for the inspiration as sadly, my muse is MIA. For now, my inspiration comes from the Bible.
All my life I’ve been different. Even as a young girl I felt different from my family. Not necessarily like a black sheep. I just never felt like I fit in. And I really didn’t. I was awkward. I didn’t get the jokes. And I was taken more seriously. I was deeply drawn to God at a very young age. We would play church and I would be the preacher and song leader. We were raised Catholic. Sort of. We weren’t strict Catholics by any means. I had my first communion but never went to confession. Had I done that, I probably would have had to move into a confessional. Not that I was a bad girl per se, but just knowing the way I think (overthink), I would have over-analyzed every thought, every action, and turned it all into sin. And I would have thought that confessing to a priest was the only way I could get to heaven. So I’m glad I didn’t grasp the whole Catholic confession thing at that age. I left the Catholic Church in my mid-teens and became Lutheran when I got married at 19. Eventually, I became just a Christian.
No matter where I was in life, or what I was doing, I always believed. Even when I understood nothing. I have no idea when I first heard of Jesus. Maybe it was when my mom shared the Christmas story with me. But from day one, I believed. And I had to know Him.
I had within me a flame of determination to find God…and I kept searching until I did. I asked those in respected places questions they could not answer. And I had a boatload of questions that needed answers. So I kept searching. It hasn’t been an easy road, but I’ve gained a lot knowledge and insight along the way. And even after finding God, I realize that Christianity is a continued journey of self-discovery, of learning and growing, of obedience and submission, along with daily challenges of His will vs mine.
My story has been filled with highs and lows but is really no different than yours. Situations are different, sure…and each of us is unique, so the way we handle things vary. There were times when I was a very strong Christian. And then there were very low times of me testing my independence. But I always knew He was there. Always. Never have I doubted or disputed His existence. Have I denied Him like Peter did? Yes, I have, and shamefully so. But never His existence.
With all this being said, I cannot possibly imagine the emptiness and the loneliness of not believing in God. Actually, I cannot comprehend life without Jesus. Even before I knew God, I believed. I knew He existed. How does the mind (and heart) write off God as nothing? Nonexistent? How does one believe, and then later, not believe? I have never not believed so I can’t go there. I just can’t.
What would be our purpose upon this earth?What would give us hope? And what would fill that empty place in our soul if we chose not to believe in God. Why would we even have a soul?
Such an emptiness…I simply cannot imagine.
I don’t even want to try.
I know loss and emptiness. I know rejection. But without God…none of these compare.
This week I ask that you to focus on the existence of God. Believe with all your heart that He is real and that He is ever-present. Because He is. We need Him now, today. And He desires for us to come to Him in our joy, and in our sorrow, in our strength, and especially, in our weakness.
Our God is amazing.
I enjoy and appreciate our coffee time together. Sadly, my reader numbers have greatly declined in the last few weeks. Maybe because it’s 2020, the year of real life sci-fi. (It’s no longer fiction, baby.) Maybe because I’ve changed and it’s affected my writing negatively. I don’t know. Probably a combination of things. But the private messages I’ve received have encouraged me to continue. Even though my readers are few, my blogs matter to them. And I am thankful.
God exists.♥️ Be grateful for that.
Andi
Photos: one sunset, different angles, August 13, 2020, (Instead of a storm chaser, I was a sunset chaser.)
As hard as it is for me to not just let loose and give my opinion on all that’s wrong in this country, I will not give in to that today. And hopefully, not tomorrow either. Or the day after that. But what I will do is give you passages from 1 Peter concerning our conduct when faced with adversity, of which, there are many. I have a tendency to get riled quite easily with all the frustrations of today’s world and, truthfully, it solves nothing. You cannot expect to be heard when yelling over the yelling, even if it’s in written form. And lately, everyone seems to have something to say.
I randomly opened up my Bible to scripture I really needed to hear. (I love when that happens.) I know there’s quite a bit to read but I tried to narrow it down the best I could without taking away from the message. These passages are crystal clear as to how we should conduct ourselves as godly people.
1 Peter 2:13-24
13 Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. 18 Servants be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. 19 For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. 21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
1 Peter 3:8-17
8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.10 For whosoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.
1 Peter 4:14-19
14If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. 16Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And if the righteous is scarcely saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” 19Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
1 Peter 5:6-11
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
In most conflict, we can be firm yet respectful. It is possible to be angry without sinning. This is where self-control comes into play. We can’t fight on the same level as evil people and expect to be pleasing to God. There’s no logic (or hope) in that. And we certainly cannot criticize or condemn if we are acting the same.
I encourage you to reflect on your reactions to things, written or spoken, that are contrary to what you believe to be truth. How did you feel initially? Think before responding. I’m not suggesting that we tuck our tails and run, or that we hide our head in the sand, or that we don’t protect ourselves and our families. But we do need to handle every situation with some sort of dignity. There are many who argue solely for the sake of arguing. Some will cross lines, push you past limits, and try to break you. Keeping the pot stirred is their goal to divide us. And their tactics are often cruel. Be better than that. There’s a great war going on right now between good and evil. We are suffering battles on a daily basis. Let the good prevail in you and give God the glory no matter how large, or small, your battle is today. Even if you feel your battle was lost, yet you remained steadfast, it was still a win in God’s eyes. Ask for guidance and take things one day at a time, one battle at a time.
It is my intention to expand upon the biblical topic of government in a future blog. Hopefully, it will come together so we can learn more of God’s expectations for us.
Be grateful for unity in Christ, for godly instruction, and for battles won in His name. ♥️
Andi
Photos: Cataract Falls (upper), August 12, 2020, a lovely afternoon spent with Grandpa
As you travel through life you encounter many twists and turns. For awhile you may be quite content and then other times are filled with turmoil. How do you view the place you are currently? Do you feel you are outside looking in and wishing you were inside with the others?
Or are you maybe on the inside looking out, feeling trapped? Are you envious of those on the outside who seem to be living the dream?
Honestly, I feel both of these. How that is possible, I do not know. I feel I am looking in at other’s lives and I desire some of what they have. Not in an envious way. I try to be mindful of that. I certainly know that no one’s life is perfect. And I know that comparing myself to others will only bring discontentment. There will always be those who run circles around me and then some who trail behind. I’m very blessed indeed, but I am missing pieces that are important to me. There is a longing, and an emptiness…my own dreams and goals remain unfulfilled.
I’m also on the inside looking out at the lives of others. So many people seem to accomplish so much more than me in the same allotted time frame. They make work look easy…and they make things happen. Sometimes I feel trapped, like a caged animal. I have the dreams, I just don’t seem to have the know how or means to accomplish them…and life is fleeting. So I remain restless and anxious.
I know that God sees my life and all the broken paths behind me that I’ve stumbled through. And I see now that He was always there to pick me up even when I didn’t realize it…or deserve it. He sees the many forks in the road ahead of me as well. And as I put more faith and trust in Him, I know He will provide exactly what I need in this life. He will answer prayer, one path at a time. I will still continue to dream my dreams. And I will hope. Nothing I desire is impure or impractical. And in all things desired, I would be able to give God the glory.
But in this moment while I wait for direction and answered prayer, I must find contentment. Contentment is wrapped in patience. These work together for peace. The secret to getting through hard times, good times, all times is living in Jesus who gives us strength.
Philippians 4:11-13 11Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
May peace find you today and comfort your soul. May you enjoy life from both inside and out.
Be grateful for open doors. ♥️
Andi
Photos: my grand puppy, Sam, and Little Debbie; Baby Sam congratulating me after a race; Me and Sam, when I could still pick him up. ♥️ Photo credits go to jetkaiserfilms and other family members.
I woke up with nothing to write. I didn’t even plan to write my weekly Sunday blog as I’m taking time off.
But then I started making coffee…
My mom loved coffee. Absolutely loved coffee. Me too. And I miss having coffee with my beautiful mom. She passed away five years ago today. It was on a Sunday too, just like today. She took a nap after lunch and never woke up again. I imagine she had a cup of coffee with her lunch.
Mom wanted to be cremated and she told us kids that she wanted to go to a beautiful place to rest in the Chiricahua Mountains in southeastern Arizona. She didn’t have a particular place chosen but I found Sugar Loaf Mountain and thought it would be perfect.
But nearing the end of life, she wanted to go home, referring to Minnesota. Mom suffered from vascular dementia so the last couple of years of her life were extremely difficult for her, and heartbreaking for us. Especially for my siblings who lived near her and had to make decisions and judgement calls on her behalf. We knew that she wanted to go to Arizona before dementia moved in, but in the end, she just simply wanted to go home.
When I think about where is home to me, I’m really confused. They say home is where the heart is. In that case, my home is scattered among several states and even in another country, as my kids are all over the place. Is home for me where I grew up? Or is it in another state where I finished school, made good friends, married, and had two children? Or is it here, after another move, a second marriage, four more children, and where I raised all six of them? The home I live now doesn’t really feel like home. Oh, after a long day, a hard day, or even a good day, I want to come home. But this house does not hold the ties of home in my heart. It’s been difficult here since my divorce, and with the kids moving away, so I could leave this house and it’d be okay.
Last night I talked to my friend, Judy, in Tennessee. We were best friends for many years. We’ve been together since kindergarten. We lost each other 22 years ago but finally reconnected this summer. I asked Judy where home is to her as she also moved far away from where we grew up. She said that home is wherever her husband is. They married when she was 17. Considering we are 59 now, I’d say that pretty amazing. I’d call that home too.
I shared with her that my heart sort of feels homeless and is restless, as I don’t know where I belong. She said she understands how difficult that is, and of course, she’d like for me to find my home in Tennessee with her. (Gotta love her.) I do have hope that I will feel at home again someday. Wherever that may be.
As I reflect on this topic of home, I can’t help but think of our eternal home. It will be one of two places. Preferably, I’d like to be with Jesus. As I place more trust in God, I am becoming increasingly closer to Him. And that is peaceful. Letting go of my control and handing it over to Jesus hasn’t been easy but I definitely feel burdens gradually being lifted. I feel somewhat freer. I realize now how distant I’ve been from Him, and I am grateful for the opportunity (and time) to find my way back.
Through scripture we know that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for us in heaven. It will be more beautiful than we could possibly ever imagine. And there, we will won’t feel lost or restless, as I do now. We won’t wonder we where home is. We will know. And it will be perfect.
John 14: 2,3 2In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
1 Corinthians 9:2 But, as it is written, what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.
We’ve decided to take Mom back home to Minnesota. We have no memories with her in Arizona as she visited there without us. We have many memories with her in Minnesota where we spent a big part of our summers when growing up. I think she’d be really happy with our decision.
My hope is that her final home is heaven. I am neither the judge nor jury in the matter of salvation, so I will not usurp authority over God’s, as I have no authority. I don’t pretend to know the intimate relationship between anyone and God. But I believe God is fair and just, compassionate and loving. And that gives me great comfort.
John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I hope you know where your earthly home is and that you find great peace there. But I also pray that you are preparing for your eternal home in heaven.
I’m drinking coffee with my mom this morning on my porch swing. I miss her so very much.
Be grateful for your earthly home, the hope of a heavenly home, and for your mother. ♥️
Andi
Photos: 1) my beautiful mom with my two oldest sons (who were pretty little then) at my brother’s wedding (this is how I remember her); 2) our family in Minnesota; 3) my six kids, 2016; 4) a beautiful picture of Mom gazing upward (I can only imagine) 5) Mom ♥️
The morning is brilliant today. The air has a subtle hint of fall tucked in its coolness and my heart feels excited with anticipation of autumn. I’m not ready to give up summer quite yet though. I never was a summer person but I have been really enjoying it the last two years. I’m in my sunroom this morning. Windows are open, and Herc is lying next to the chaise lounge where I am seated. I have come to this room prepared with coffee, my Bible, and many prayers.
I am on a hiatus. But as I read this passage, I felt a strong urge to share it.
The passage actually begins in Luke 22:39. I’m reading about Jesus on the Mount of Olives as He prays with great anguish as He knows all that needs to come to pass…and His disciples sleep. Then the crowd, led by Judas, comes to take Him away.
I wrote about the rooster crowing in a recent blog. Jesus told Peter that before the rooster crows, Peter would deny him three times. Peter said never would that happen. But as Jesus is led away, Peter does deny Him three times. While Peter is still speaking the third denial, the rooster crows. Jesus turned and looked directly at Peter. And Peter saw Jesus…and he remembered.
Tears came to my eyes as I visualized this interaction between Jesus and Peter. My heart hurt for Peter as I know that Jesus has turned and looked at me in the same manner. And I felt his shame. Peter went out and wept bitterly. And I did this morning on his behalf…and for myself.
How many times have we done what we wanted to do knowing how much it would disappoint Jesus? How many times have we sinned when we said that would never happen? His concern is for our salvation and our eternity. Jesus isn’t beyond feeling grief. He prayed in the garden in anguish. Jesus wept for His friend Lazarus in John 11. Jesus is compassionate. He can feel what we feel. And when we walk away from Him, He feels every bit of heartache and sadness.
Please read Luke 22:39-62 when you can. Replace Peter’s name with yours and when Jesus turns to look at you, look Him in the eyes. Feel that moment. Know that Jesus feels it too.
I felt drawn to share this with you today. I hope we remember that Jesus is always watching us with the greatest of love.
Be grateful for the compassion of Jesus. ♥️
Andi
Photos: White orchids at the White River Botanical Gardens; white orchids in Jamaica
n. gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break
Times are seriously changing fast. It’s a challenge to keep up when we are being hit from every direction. The struggles are real.
I will be honest with you. I’m not the same person I was five months ago. How many of you can say you haven’t changed in one way or another since all of this began? Oh, I’m not saying I’m worse off. No, I believe I’ve changed mostly for the better. I guess that’s what I preach about so often. We need to learn positive things from our life lessons. And we are definitely learning lessons now. I will admit I’m a bit edgier than I was prior to March and I can spout off quicker than usual. I’m being more mindful of that. I think most everyone is a tad bit touchier than before. At least the people in my world. Maybe we have a right to be. There’s a lot we don’t understand and everyday we encounter new obstacles in our daily living. But I am more mellow in many ways too. Hopefully, I’m not falling into an “I don’t care” attitude. I don’t think so but I’ll be mindful of that as well.
The reason for this blog to say that I will be taking a hiatus. Everyone is dealing with so much right now. It’s not an easy time for anyone. My number count of readers has dropped off pretty dramatically and I hardly receive feedback, if any. I receive most of my comments and likes on my controversial blogs, but I simply can’t write those all the time. For my own sanity, I have to pull back on the controversy. A friend recently reminded me that there is much negativity in the world already. I agree. I should write uplifting and inspirational blogs. That’s what my blog’s intentions were from the beginning.
A lot of time goes into most of what I write. I am not a paid writer. I just write from the heart because I have a personal need/ desire to do so. But it’s just not feeling right lately.
I’m going to stop writing for awhile. Who knows how long a hiatus is. I suppose it varies from person to person. I have no idea. Hopefully, it’ll feel right again very soon.
Until then, you will be in my prayers. That’s the least we can do for one another. Take the much needed time to find peace in the chaos.
Be grateful for this day. ♥️
Andi
Photo: St. Joseph, MI, September 2010, North Pier Lighthouse (a happy place)
Sometimes silence is a good thing. We need to turn off the static of the world and just chill for awhile. It would be in our best interest to turn off the TV every so often. Maybe even leave the car radio off on the drive home from work. I believe silence really is golden.
I like silence. I like it a lot. Mostly, the silence away from people noises, like cars, mowers, and machinery. I love listening to birds, frogs, and cicadas, and a field of corn rustling in the wind. The chatter of squirrels chasing each other up and down and around the tree is quite entertaining. The crackling of a bonfire is soothing to me. Waves rushing onto the shore is a noise I’d never tire of. I remember as a young girl I‘d sleep with my window open whenever I could, and I’d hear the night sounds from the harbor on Lake Michigan, of ships and fog horns, and in the west, I’d hear the rhythm of a distant train. I’m fortunate I can hear trains where I live now too, but I sure do miss the sound of the harbor. Some sounds are peaceful to me and I consider them to be a part of silence. Often that’s where I do my best dreaming.
Other times silence may not be so good. Silence between friends or family can mean any number of things. Silence on the other end of the line usually isn’t a good sign. Neither are unanswered questions. Reading between the lines is troubling and taxing on the heart. Here, silence isn’t golden at all.
Then there’s social media. Even if I don’t have the audio on, but am reading controversial posts and their comments filled with rantings and raging, it is as loud and disturbing as the constant revving of a car engine, or of a alarm that won’t shut off, or even of rap music turned up on high volume. So silence, for me, would also include staying away from controversy in social media, newspapers, news stations, magazines, etc. Anything that excites my mind in a disruptive way and makes my body feel like a beehive is noise to my soul.
While I enjoy associating with people, I like to return to my quiet place. Preferably, sooner than later. That doesn’t mean I’m totally at peace alone, by myself. I am not. I believe you can be with someone and enjoy silence together. Holding hands quietly speaks volumes. That would be the best kind of silence to me.
I hope you find a quiet place today. Use that time to unwind, to reflect, and to dream. I think even extroverts benefit from quiet times. I am an introvert with a touch of “extrovert-wanna-be”. But I embrace the introvert in me. And I appreciate silence.
Thank you for stopping by today for coffee with me. We can talk or just sit in the quietness, together.
Be grateful for quiet times. ♥️
Andi
Photos: cornfield near my home, August 2020, my coffee cup this morning in the quiet of my room
Coffee with Andi 