Our first night together has lasted about two days, so it seems. My sister made it to our hotel about 7:00 last night. It took her eleven hours to get here by car. My flight was a little late but I had arrived about 3:30. Once in my room, I cried hard for about two hours and then fell asleep.
My sister had a picture of Dad on the dashboard of her car. She talked to, laughed at, and yelled at him for eleven hours, just as if he was in the car with her. He kept her from crying as she drove. And he got her here safely to me.
Our night was spent in conversation of various topics. Mostly about our family. Funny things our kids have said and done, and the trials she had in the final two years of Mom’s life. Dementia is cruel. There’s no other way to describe it. We laughed and we cried.
We sat in the room. We sat by the pool. And we went back to the room. Wow, it didn’t take long for the humidity to work it’s magic on my hair. (Thanks, Dad. ♥️)
We turned on TCM since my brother isn’t here. I’d start to fall asleep so we’d turn it off. As soon as it was turned off, I was wide awake again. We’d turn TV back on and talk, and I’d start to fall asleep. When it was off my mind kicked in. It wasn’t about to let me sleep.
Finally, at 2:00, after several turn-offs and back-ons, she asked me, “Do you know what bananas are good for?” Well, I know they are good for many things but I figured she must have some new information. I asked her what?
“Bananas are supposed to help you sleep. Want one?”
“Yes, I do.” So she and I ate bananas at 2 am, and I believe it was the best banana I’ve ever had. Did it help me sleep? No, not really. Not tonight anyway. But it was the best ever. Just another special moment shared between two exhausted sisters.
Time is moving slowly. In the darkness, periodically, I hear her sob into her pillow. She tries to stifle it so as not to wake me. But I’m already there. I don’t let her know as she needs her own moments as I had mine earlier. We meet with hospice at 10:30 this morning. That is what’s weighing so heavily upon us tonight. This night is never ending. But the alternative is for time to go by quickly, and frankly, neither of us is ready for that. 💔