It’s Not Easy Sometimes

When I write a blog, I write with my whole heart. I think I’m pretty transparent. I do this not because I am wanting sympathy or a pat on the back. My desire is to connect with the real you, so therefore; I will be real. And if we find we have something in common, how wonderful is that? Then we know we are not alone on this planet.

A few weeks back I wrote a blog called A Fork in the Road. I believed that a fork was beginning to narrow and the path becoming clearer for me to see direction. Well, today while I was on a much needed nature walk to clear my head and take pictures for future blogs, I received a generic email to let me know that I did not get the job I’ve been hoping for. It’s been three weeks of waiting and praying. The news ended my walk and I found an old bench to sit on. Maybe I am old school, but a personally addressed email, or better yet, a personal phone call, would have made this a teeny tiny bit easier to take. Needless to say, the tears of frustration fell like rain on that wooded pathway.

How should I feel about this? I know my age is now a great factor out there in the hiring world. I feel trapped. Vulnerable. Inadequate. Quite sad. Let down. Scared. And…I’m back to having all the many forks in my road.

I will tell you that I’m not mad at God but I’m not understanding His will at this point. I’m feeling pretty lost. Maybe even more so than before. I wish I could understand.

I will continue to ask God for direction in my life. I will continue to surrender all, as difficult that is for me. I will continue to love, praise, and honor Him. I will continue to hope. Maybe He protected me from something I cannot see. I will need to trust Him on this.

But today I’m letting the tears fall. And there are many. Tomorrow is a new day.

Thank you for listening to me. Coffee is good even in the late afternoon. I hope you are enjoying our visit. Now please hand me a Kleenex. 🙂

Be grateful for blessings seen, and those unseen. Maybe this is a blessing. I need to believe that it is. ♥️

Andi

Photos: all from my walk today, August 19, 2020